September 3, 1999. Friday.

    I'm really quite bored right now. I got back from NY earlier today, around 4, and I've just been loafing around. But after a snack of Ramen and reading some Foxtrot, I feel a little better. It's the little things that I miss about home. So whenever I'm home, I try to spend as much time in the home as I can.  Anyway, while I was in NY, I finally got registered for classes.  It's pretty brutal.  I only have three classes a week, but it still totals more than 13 hours a week.  That's more hours of class than I had as an undergrad.  So I don't know if I can really handle a job. I think I'm gonna see how my workload is before I plunge into trying to tackle school and a job at the same time.  I'm really disappointed that I have a class on Wednesday nights too, because Rodzilla leaves for France on a Wednesday night, and I really want to see her off at the airport. I don't know why I'd even go to class that night. I doubt I'd be paying much attention. But of course, I gotta go.  I mean, I am in NY to study. But that's been kinda bumming me out all day. I guess that's what mainly responsible for my mood. I'm not depressed or anything, but I've just got this anoyyingly nagging feeling of slight unhappiness.  And I still don't know when she's coming to NY.  She might only be there for two days before she goes to France.  Anyway, I'm tired of thinking about that.

    I guess I'm just sitting here typing just to stave off boredom and restlessness. I do feel really restless. I guess that's what I've been feeling today, as opposed to unhappiness. Plus, I'm really tired. I was up till four in the morning yesterday putting together furniture that I bought at IKEA.  Of course, the instructions were in Swedish, so putting together my dresser was a little tougher than I thought it'd be. There was this one little piece of fabric that was supposed to be screwed onto the dresser, but I had absolutely no idea where it was supposed to go. So  I jsut didn't use it.  And the dress works fine. Take that, Sweden.

    Anyway, I'm really just home this weekend to get the rest of my stuff.  But I here the boys are al getting together this weekend, so maybe that'll be fun. Brad, whom I haven't seen in almost 2 years is supposedly back in town.  And I was supposed to see Becky, another friend from highschool, this weekend. We've been trading emails for the past 4 months or so trying to get together. But all we've done is update each other on the other's current whereabouts. She's in med school now, doing a rotation in Lancaster, PA. although she may be done there by now. But she's supposed to be here this weekend. We'll see.  After this weekend, I don't really know what kind of life I'll have. I don't really know anyone in NY, and my roommates and I all have different hours. But I guess that's good, since I will have a lot of work to do. I'm starting to get a little nervous about my grad school program. I hate class participation. Why do I care what other people think? Why would I assume that they'd care what I think.  Just hanging around the building yesterday, I was getting a feeling of the atmosphere that I specifically wanted to avoid. That of the "we're very, very serious journalists."  That's all fine and good, but I hate feeling like I'm some sort of invader in the club.  It makes me feel like a phony.  But hey, I got into the program for some reason, so I guess I belong. Maybe only 15 people applied to the program, and that's why I got in. Yeah, it really helps to think like that. I've just gotta remember (or more precisely, fool myself into thinking) that I'm leaps and bounds ahead of most of these people in terms of writing.

    OK, I'm having a tough time believing that right now. But whether it's true or not, that's the attitude I'm gonna need to have.  Otherwise, this program is gonna eat me alive.  I think. I don't know. I haven't seen the syllabus for the one course that I'm really worried about. I've seen the syllabus for the other sections, but not for mine. But the other sections kinda scared me, so i though this one couldn't be much worse.  So far, my section does seem a bit different.  The reading I have to do for next week isn't included in the other course descriptions.  It's an excerpt from a book about the writing of Ty Cobb's biography, done by Cobb's ghostwriter.  This is actually the kind of reading that I like to do. I really like stories based on historical events, particularly about baseball.  And this is the kind of writing that I'd like to do. I don't wanna write Ty Cobb's biography, I want to write about all the shit that happened while trying to write his biography.  Of course, I've only read ten pages of this story so far. But that's more than half. If all my other readin assigments are less than 20 pages, I think I'll be allright. But I doubt that. But looking over the list, there're actually some thing that I'm really interested in reading. There's "A Modest Proposal," by Jonathan Swift. I had to do a report on that senior year of highschool. I don't really remember much of what I said though. But I do recall that Jonathan Swift was the answer on Final Jeopardy the other night. Hey speaking of night, it's pretty late in this one. I'm done writing now.
 

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