By Jed Hazlett
roughly 27 A.D.
Setting: at the local pub.... (could be the early days of Christ?)...
AKHMED: So, Ezekial, what are you worshipping these days?
E: Well, i got this new idol I've been worshipping for about a week... it's working out pretty well for the moment, but you know how these things are...
A: (nods.) I sure do. Crops doin' okay?
E: Great, actually.... my idol has yet to demonstrate the wrathful vengeance of the last deity I worshipped.
A: Oh, yeah? What deity was that?
E: Tatsaru, God of the Devastating Flood. Don't ever ask that guy for help with the crops.
A: I know what you mean. I'm having trouble finding a deity who really fits my needs... I've tried half the pagan religions out there and none of them were any good! There's nothing I a can even form a remarkably similar subset of....
E: It just seems like there isn't any religion out there that can make everything okay.
JESUS: Hey guys, does your religion promise eternal salvation?
E & A: Eternal Salvation? No... but we'd love to find one that does!
JESUS: You want eternal salvation? Your talkin' to the right guy! I'm the son of the one true lord, conceived by a virgin ( ) and delivered into this world to save mankind! My religion is the only one that can give you eternal salvation! So forget your idolatry and paganism and bullshit magic, and come with me! It's the only religion you'll ever need!
(A & E do the sign of the cross into a high five and follow Jesus out (Jesus holds the door for them!)... as exiting the saloon door with the fellas in front of him, Jesus turns around and winks at the camera, which freeze frames on the image.... we see that Jesus has an "intel inside" logo on his body somewhere.... we hear the intel musical tagline and the image of the logo (effects) comes out and takes up the entire screen like it does (or did) in those commercials....)
THE END.
would this be better animated or
not?
South
Pole Home |
Greg's main page
©1999
Three Match Breeze