Mail to G-RockTuesday, November 30, 1999.
There's something wrong with the Freespeech ftp server methinks. I haven't been able to get access from anywhere since Friday. So I don't know when you'll actually get to read this. Not that you're sitting on the edge of your seats. Unless you've got cyberporn downloading in another browser window and are just reading this to kill the time.
Anyhow , Jed returned yesterday evening. Good to have him back. he's pretty much here for good now. Which is great. He told me he'd read my journal for the first time in months while home for Thanksgiving. He said "What do you want out of your journal?" which was funny, because that's what I had just written about on Sunday night. i told him how i like keeping a record of what's going on with my life, but that I've been very disappointed with my journal for the last several months. I liked it a lot better back in March and April and May, when I was stuck at the job. I used to lament the fact that I wrote about nothing, just the crazy thoughts in my head. but now I do stuff all the time, and just write accounts of it. i hate that. It's really boring. jed too said that lately all i write about is accounts of my day. He said it seemed more like "Daily Dishes and Papers." Which is really true. So I'm seriously considering starting this over. But I've put so much effort into this already. but i really hate the fact that I can't write how i really feel about things. Just kind of hint at them. jed said he's always disappointed by my journal, "because I always want it to be like the old Gus, and it's not." Then again, he was quick to admit that Gus's journal pretty much cost him his friendships with almost everyone he knew in Charlottesville.
When I got home yesterday, I told Jed about my online journal article that I'm trying to sell. He was reading entertainment weekly and pointed out the review for the new movie "Home Page," about Justin Hall's webpage. he's one of the people Gus mentions as his major inspirations and influences to start the Musings. Of course, I had mentionted that Gus was a major influence on many many online journals. So now I feel sort of scooped by the movie, and a feel like I got my info wrong in my paper. But hell, it's still a sellable piece of work I guess. It's fairly informative to anyone who doesn't read online journals regularly.
So after waking later than I'd hoped today, I got up and did a little eating and watching tv, before PFC Caryn stopped by to play some N64. She was coming over with he computer, because PFC Kathy just got a new iMac and didn't have any really useful software. I was skeptical about the chances of her hooking up her computer to the iMac, what with it's new Mac-standard USB ports, but there were a few programs on her G3 Powerbook that I wanted. So while I waited for the files to transfer, she, Jed, roommate Howard, and I played N64. It was pretty much Geekfest '99. No better way to kill time while sharing software than to play some video games. It was entertaining though. I like having people over who don't live with me. eventually Kathy showed up, and we all left. i wanted to check out her new machine, but i was running late for work, so Jed and I headed into the city, while Caryn and Kathy went down to her pad on 5th Ave. it's pretty fucking cold, and the only reason I was walking down to 7th Ave was to pay the goddam rent.
I just got the long-awaited cd from James, the official first release of the new band, Redemption Farm. The album is "Worm Without End," and has 9 songs. I've heard most of them. It's pretty good. I'm listening to it now here at work. I'm meeting him at 10 at Irving Plaza to see Luna. I wasn't going to go, but I figured what the hell. Back in the day we used to drive 3 hours to Chapel Hill to see Luna. So i guess 10 blocks is bearable, even in the fucking coldness that is outside. Jen will be there as well. I saw her earlier tonight for the first time in about 2 weeks.
i should be doing my reading, but i seem to have found all sorts of distractions. I should really just turn this computer off. I'm thinking of starting work on the Redemption Farm homepage. PFC Anna just stopped by. She used to work here. Perhaps I'll ask her to cover for me my last 20 minutes so I can leave early. She had to read my journal paper. since we divide into editing groups for my Cultural Conversation class. She said it was funny that I wrote that, because a boy she dated in Germany used to keep an online journal. And people would learn things about her through that, and she didn't even know about it for a long time. That made me giggle a bit on the inside. I wonder how many people are unwitting cast members in the melodramatic lives of other people's scribblings. i wonder how many people are unwitting cast members in multiple journals. Well, Anna is. She's cool though. But maybe I only think she's cool because at first I thought she would be really uncool. Not emprically uncool, just uncool to me. i thought she'd hate me for some reason. i think that of most people, but with her it was more than the usual. She's allright though. I'm trying to talk to more people these days, of varying personality types. I'm really waiting for conversational breakthroughs. Because there has to be a point where conversation moves beyond standard pleasantries. Where a friendship truly forms. it hasn't really happened with any of the new people I've met yet. But for me that usually takes a long, long time. there have been exceptions, like Jed, or Erin, but they're been more Matts, where it takes years for me to really accept someone as a friend. Caryn and Anna are both leaving the program, so i don't know how much I'll really see them after that. And considering they're 1/2 of the people in the program that i really talk to, that's a big blow. I'm glad jed's here.
I spoke with Rodzilla this afternoon, just for kicks, and to tell her about my journal article that I was bitching to her about last time we spoke. To told me she had a packet of the top 100 freelance markets, which I myself had given her, much to my surprise. Nora sent that to me last February I think, and I'd lost track of it since. I was actually very curious as to its whereabouts, since I need it more now than ever. It appears that my best markets right now, for this particular article, are the magzines on airplanes, that the airline company publishes. That doesn't seem like too shabby an idea. So I'll be looking into that shortly. Anyhow, I hope the freespeech ftp is up and running. but I'm not holding my breath. I hate only having one way to access my files. that was one of the better things about Tripod.
DA&R
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