May 5, 1999.  Wednesday.

 
    Well, I got to sleep late today, so I'm not really my normal tired self. Maybe I'll even excercise when I get back.  But probably not. I'm working the 1-8 shift today. If I could do that everyday, I probably would.  It's not like I actually have anything to do when I get home anyway. It's not like I have an outside life for chrissake.  So I might as well get some extra sleep.  Anyway, I was just at the comic book shop. I figured as long as i got a lot of leeway for when I had to be in today, I'd run some errands. I finally sent Rodzilla her University card so she can eat lunch.  Aren't I sweet? She's been without her card and keys since she came up for my birthday, way back on April 10. I even got her a bluky keychain just so she wouldn't keep losing them.  But whuddaya gonna do, right?  Anyway, there was this guy in the comic book store that made the fat comicbook guy on the Simpsons look like Bruce Jenner.  This giagantic, squishy man was lumbering around the store in such a laborious fashion that it made me wanna cry. Actually, to tell you the truth, it sickened me.  I got out of his way, and as I was standing at the cash register, he came up in line behind me. Well, more like to the side of me. He had to lean on the counter for support. You see, simplybreathing appeared to be too much of a chore for him. One of the first signs that you may be in very poor helath: Involuntary muscle movement takes enourmous amounts of effort.  Every breath was a gigaintic undertaking. I feel sorry for that poor man's diaphragm.  I mean, besides his enlarged, ready to burst hear, it's gotta be the hardest working muscle in his body. You know how when you breath in and out, your chest kinda goes up and down? This guy lifts at least 100 pounds when he does that I think.  I'm not sure if he's always like this, or if the 30 foot walk he took around the store had him all tuckered out. Sadly, the first thing i thought was "How much longer can this poor guy live?"  It really depressed me. Then I glanced at the sign that said "Ask about our subscription service - It's Free!"  and I couldn't help thinking ," Dude, just stay at home. They'll deliver to your house."  I mean, save yourself the emabarssment and the coronary already.   I know it sounds mean, but if you coulda seen this behemoth...  I really wanted to look at him, because I was actually very curious as to who made his tarp-sized shirt.  He actually had to pull it over his head at one point to qwipe away about a pint of sweat form his chubby, bespeckled face.  I know Matt has a soft spot for fat people, and hey, don't we all? But this guy is just sad. I do feel very, very sorry for him. What kind of life is that? But if buying his comics and heaving for his life with every breath make him happy, who am I to criticze him?  I'm just saying, in my own personal opinion, that's no way to live, or die.

    Anyway, on the other end of the weight spectrum, I had dinner last night with waifish Nicole, who recently bulked up to a whopping 101 pounds. That's almost ten pounds more than she weighed in college. she's in the army now, you know. The medical program.  Anyway, since I only live 12 miles from her now, I figured I'd call her, especially since I have no where else to go.  As much as some people don't like her, and as much as she can get on my nerves, she still a good person inside, and that always goes a long way with me. I mean, if you're a little bitch and everyone hates you, then no sympathy from me. But if you're generally a good person at heart and a loyal friend, even if you bother me sometimes I'll still make the effort. and I do enjoy talking to her from time to time. But she has this habit of talking an smiling simultaneously and constantly, and she does it so much that it makes my  face hurt. So while we were sitting at dinner, I asked her to just rest both elbows on the table, and hold her head up with her fists on her cheeks, and just fucking relax for a minute. Just let your muscles droop and not be so tense, for god's sake. She's one of the tightest wound people on earth.  It's almost scary.
    Anyway, we went to this Mongolian grill in Bethesda, on Wisconsin St.  I'd always kinda wanted to go. But all in  all. it wasn't that impressive. It was tasty, but not worth 15 bucks.  Basically, you just picked your meat and whatnot and they grilled it for you.  Pleasant, but not worth the money.  Anyway, Nicole and I actually talked a bit. Well, she did most of the talking. And I could actually kind of relate to her problems, since she was having all sorts of roommate problems, instead of her normal i-hooked-up-with-this-guy-and-now-what problems. Well, there were a fair share of those too.  I don't really like hearing about her lust-life.  The guys she's with a uniformly horrible. Not that I've met the majority of them. But still, by all her accounts, she really makes some bad, bad choices in guys. The epitome of it all:  Yesterday, she told me how her rugby team was at National's in Georgia over the weekend, and she kissed this guy on one of the other teams.  Exact quote: "His name's Moose." me:  "MOOSE!?!  You actaully kissed someone named MOOSE?"  She then went on to say how he's really big and it;s his nickname and he used to play footbal in school, all to which I replied ,"yeah? no shit..."  gee, a guy named Moose who played football. She thought it was funny because she thought they made such a unique couple, since she's not quite 5'3" and he was, well, Moose.  Of course, being the nerd I am, a referenced Archie Comics, where the diminuative Midge just happens to be the girlfriend of the goofy giant Moose.  And I also believe that in old Saved by the Bell, there was a dumb football player who dated this nerdy chick, and his name was also Moose. So not only is she a horrible cliche, she's a horrible cliched cliche.  Not that that makes me like her any less. I mean, I kinda expect that from her by now.

    So after dinner we got coffee and were sitting by this big glass sculpture, when this girl walks by. She looked very familiary, and I couldn't help but stare. I thought it was Danielle, Jed's former girlfriend. I was so sure I knew this girl that I actually leaned toward her while looking, just to be a funny-guy.  Of course, it turned out to be a complete stranger.  As Nicole was about to question me on why I was staring so intently at this girl, she walks up from behind me. I immediately felt like a freak.  It was bad enough that she caught me blatantly staring at her, now she came over.  She stood there  and said "You look familiar."  But she was pointing at Nicole. Whew...  It turned out that she knew Nicole from rugby.  So they chatted for a while. Then she said that I also looked familiar. Then some guy jogged by, and she thought that he also looked familiar. I guess she thought she was surrounded by people from her past.  I really wanted to jump and and say something like "That's right, Natalie, and This Is Your Life!"  But i didn't want to freak her out, becaus it was marginally funny at best.  So naturally I sat there mostly mute while they chatted, occasionally throwing in a witty-sarcastic remark in my trademark way.  I gotta work on my new-people skills. This girl did look a lot like Danielle, though, only a little taller and skinnier, and a little nicer.
    So then I drove back to Potomac. I'm kind of looking forward to staying with Matt for a while in June. I do like Potomac though. It's very nice and very residential.  But living in the city will be cool. It'll complete my DC experience. I'll have lived on the Virgina side, the Maryland side, and in DC proper.  Plus, it's dawned on my how much I miss hanging out with guys.  I haven't done that on a regular basis in almost a year. As much as I like girls, i really need my boys.  And what better place to do it than Matt's apartment in Dupont Circle, and area affectionately called the "fruitloop" and reknowned for it's homosexual population. Oh yeah... I can't wait!

805 686-4058

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I just read this on The Onion.  It really says it all about what I think about the reaction to the Colorado shooting thing.  Plus, it's damn funny.  Yet still sad.  click here.

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