March 8, 1999. Monday
I was kinda looking
forward to a nice, boring week of work after an extremely eventful weekend.
But now all i wanna do is go back to sleep. I'm so tired. I didn't
get in till about 1 last night. So not much sleep. Anyway,
the weekend was a blast. I did about all my favorite things to do
in Lexington, VA in
those 4 days. I saw Jed, James, Rodzilla, and some others I hadn't
planned on seeing, like my old rommate Aaron. So Friday night was
the annual Fancy Dress Ball at Washington
and Lee. The best thing about this is the big-band. It's
kinda cool to see a room fulla people decked out and dancin. But
for some reason this year, when big-band and swing have been making a big
comeback, there was no big band. Instead, there were three rock/funk
bands playing songs like RESPECT and the like. After being there
for about 4 minutes, it was pretty clear that I would not partake in much
of the festivities. I didn't show up to do the frat-boy shuffle.
I know Rodzilla was disappointed, but that's just me being me. That
kinda stuff is what I miss the least from being in school, and I don't
really wanna relive it. But i did see some people there that I hadn't
seen in a while. Mind you, I didn't speak to most of them, but it
was interesting to see them. I really wasn't in a socializing mood
anyhow.
Much of the remaining
portion of the weekend was spent waiting for James.
On saturday, Rodzilla and I met him for breakfast/lunch
in town. Of course, by the time he actually got into town, the place we
met was closing in five minutes, so we went to the Palms
for lunch/dinner. I guess somewhere around 2-3 pm you can no longer
call a meal brunch. Anyway, after that, Rodzilla went home and i
went out to Jed's secluded getaway in the woods.
We just basically did nothing, which is always a welcome activity these
days. Then at some point we went into Lexington to this coffee house,
the Ruse, where we were gonna see this blue-grass band play. Of course,
we got there far too late, but i didn't really mind. But i ran into
some people that i used to play soccer with and some others from Concordia
Discours, who Underpants Cowboy used to play with. So then we walked
to Diggers, a bar where the crowd is more townie than collegiate.
i guess it's pretty much the townine bar in town. Maybe it's the
fact that they don't serve pitchers of beer that keeps the kids away.
Anyway, James, Jed, and I, along with young Jake, were sitting there eating
and drinking when Steve
West, the drummer of Pavement
walks by. He stopped to say hello, and we, James mostly, chatted
with him briefly. He invited us out to his place for some farewell
party for a photographer friend of his, Marcus i believe. So we said "cool"
and that was that. Then I saw an attractive looking girl walk by.
As I was scoping her out, I suddenly realized that I knew this girl. It
was one other than my very own GFLOABT (girlfriend for lack of a better
term), Rodzilla. So I ran out and got her and she joined us for the
remainder of the evening. Since we've been "invloved," Most
of my time with her has been planned out, pre-arranged, organized, and
whatnot due to the fact that i live 185 miles from her. So this chance
encounter on the street was a first, and gave me a sense of a normal relationship.
Her friends i guess don't really understand how I can be there for the
weekend and not go out with her everynight. But i know at some point I'll
see her, so it's no big deal. it was just especially nice to run into her
much earlier than I'd expected, since i had been trying to figure out how
the hell i was gonna find her that night.
Anyway, on Sunday Rodzilla
and I went out to Jed's pad after stopping off at Subway. We stayed there
until about 5, when James and I decided to head on over to Steve West's.
By this point I had finally convinced Rodzilla to come along. I sorely
needed the backup. I'm no good in uncomfortable social situations,
and that was what i was anticipating. Normally I can count on Jed, but
for some unknown reason he was stricken with a case of work-ethic, so he
had to pass. But i really needed the backup, because James was more
conversationally familiar with the crowd than I was, and he has a habit
of disappearing for period of time, leaving me to sip my beer and twiddle
my thumbs.
Needless to say, after
about 15 minutes, Rodzilla and I were sitting on the couch, and she commented
"You're so lucky that I came." Of course she was right. We felt like
some sort of intruders, like everyone had been staring at us. She
suspected that once we got up to leave the kitchen, everyone looked at
each other and were like "Who the hell are they?" So i was extra
glad to have someone along with us, and particularly glad that it was Rodzilla.
The crowd was an odd
ensemble, at least to me, of Lexington "personalities." There was
Steve and his wife Andra. Then there was this girl Sara who just
happens to live in the apartment above Jed, and who we hung out with in
Friday night. Then there was Wayne who owns Night Owl Music.
It's a little cd store on Jefferson St in Lexington. the prices
are a little high, but still much lower than Crossroads, who for some reason
think they can still sell cd's for $17. Anyway, there was also this
guy who i went to school with, and who jed calls a mean-spirited Forest
Gump. That kinda fits. It made me a little weary to be there.
But the house itself is marvelous. It's an old, 19th century farmhouse
that's constanly being changed around. Everytime I've been there
there's been all sorts of changes. It's got a lot of associated buildings,
barns and whatnot. And the inside has all sorts of weird rooms.
At one point, the first time I was there, every room had a theme. I don't
know if that's the case now. There was the "Jeb Stuart Room" this
time, where he kept a mixing board and other recording equiptment.
Down in the basement, the "Turkey's Nest," was the bar area. Last
time I was there it was and art gallery of sorts, although the other rooms
were closed off. It was a cozy little area. There was a tiny bar, some
chairs, and some records playing. Jazzy kinda stuff.
Typical conversational
example: Steve's wife Andra, after someone commented on the stone
wall by the stairs and next to the bar: "Yeah, Steve said he was
gonna build a stone wall, and two days later, it was just there."
I found that particularly amusing. I guess
i found the whole place amusing. A lot of crazy pictures and paintings,
various dogs, cats, and small children running around. I just wish
i didn't hafta be at work today, because I had to leave pretty early.
Plus, i'd kinda dragged Rodzilla there and felt bad that she had to wait
longer than I'd said. Of course, leaving was the ultimte debate for
James. So we sat in the bar area and debated the pros-and cons.
The first time we were there, three years ago, he stayed until 4am and
made a semi-fool of himself playing Silver
Jews songs for Dave Berman, The Jews guy, who was there. On a
side note, that was the first "date" that i went on with with one Rebecca
Makkai. A particularly miserable night, although it was due more
to out mutual dog allergies and asthma. Truly, a magical pair.
But anyway, everyone but James left that night, and he later said he thought
he'd outstayed his welcome. So I advised that he leave. But
he decided to stay. Then as he walked with us to the door, he decided he
should leave. Then he thought he might stay. Then he thought i't be a good
idea to leave. Then he thought about all the cool things that could happen
if he stayed. Then he thought he should leave. Finally, he said he
was gonna stay. So a minute later he was saying goodbye to Rodzilla
and me. then he decided to go. I felt particularly bad, because as
i said i dragged Rodzilla there and we had to wait awhile for James again.
So we all left, but of course at the car james wanted to go back in. But
i pointed out that he'd already said his goodbyes and it would be weird
to go back in now. So, most reluctantly, we all left. FINALLY.
we went to McDonalds and back out to Jed's to watch the Simpsons.
The one with Alec Baldwin and Kim Bassinger. Pretty funny.
On a side note, i felt
guilty a lot of the weekend because i felt like Rodzilla put up with a
lot of stuff that she really didn't have to. The non-dancing at the
ball, and dragging her out to jed's and steve west's. But i really
wanted her to be there and i'm glad she was. I tell ya, she's a pretty
damn good GFLOABT. Undoubtedly the best GFLOABT i've ever had.
We have a lot of cheesy stolen moments, but i eat that shit up. Last
night as I was driving home, i was thinking just that, and at that point
the moon came out. A rather large, low, waning moon. It was extremely bright
in the clear, cold sky, and at one point, the highway was stretched out
completely straight ahead of me, running right into the distant mountains.
At this point, the moon was aligned perfectly with the road. It was
directly in front of me, resting on top of the mountain. It was so bright
and so low that you could see the branches of the trees in front of it.
It was a really wonderful scene. All that was visible was the moon, the
mountains, and the road. You couldn't have painted a better picture.
Anyway, it was such a picturesque scene, and it woulda been cool if Rodzilla
were there to see it.
Remember kids, Nora says:"Don't
treat me as a chore, treat me as a delight!
2:10pm. she
actually said that. But it's much less erotic sounding when heard
in context.
I think Nora's
gonna stop talking to me in fears of me putting things about her on the
web. Of course, her talking to me is the only thing keeping me from
slandering her even more. Not that I'd really slander her
or anything. But I'm sure she'd se it that way. She's kinda poopy
that way. Even though I call her everyday to brighten her dreary
existence at her job.
Oh Nora, honey, you now I'm kidding, baby
Anyway,
I got an email from Jen today telling me that
she just found out she got accepted into NYU's psychology program.
I myself am waiting to hear from NYU. At this point I've pretty
much accepted that it ain't gonna happen. High on the wait list would be
fine by me. But Jen's news kinda made me wanna go. It'd be
cool if we were both at NYU. Of course I'm happy for her, but now
i feel like I'm gonna end up standing still, watching my friends go by.
She's going to NYU, Rodzilla'll be in France, etc, etc. Now I feel
like I gotta have some sort of plan. But i'd really rather not.
It'd be nice if things would work out, but I had pretty much convinced
myself that if this school thing didn't work out, I'd be just fine with
it. At one point, i really wanted to go. and i still do. But
i've been preparing myself for the nearly inevitable outcome. Ah,
well...
I'm just
not really ready to have my life planned out for me yet. Short of grad
school, i don't really like planning the next few years of my life.
Sure, i hate change and I like stability, but only to a certain degree.
I also really like spontaneity. But periodically. I like to have
something new in my life, get used to it, lament it's loss or get tired
of it, and then find something new. I like that cycle. Sure it seems
repetitive, but there're enough intanglbles to keep things interesting.
The thought of being in the same job for the next 10, or even 2 years of
my life is so unbearable. Every time i even think about that prospect I
start to feel suffocated. I just wanna keep on learning stuff.
I wanna travel around and learn things and experience things. I don't
want to have to save these things for the weekend or for my two week's
vacation. Of course, all these things take money. But in this
technologically advanced age, I think theres gotta be some job out there
where I can be mobile and still do my job as well as, or even better than,
if I were sitting in an office somewhere. I think that's the real
appeal of writing to me. Experiencing things and reacting and creating
is so much easier when you've got a wide degree of freedom. I really
don't wanna be tied down to one area. I'll always need a home base, but
only to return to every so often. I suppose some day I'll have the
need to settle down. To a large degree, i have that right now. but i know
i won't be satisfied enough with my status to actaully settle for a very
long time.
well, there goes another day I'll never get to - or have to- live
again...
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