March 31, 1999
Well, it's da end of the month. You know what that means... PAYDAY. The happiest day of the year. The reason why I endure this drudgery. And by "drudgery," I mean "very little to do and free high-speed internet access." And do i ever need the money. What with my heroin and white-slavery trade suffering due to new US policies, I could really use the dough right around now. Oh well, there's always the ever-thriving organ harvesting ring.
Anyway, back in the real world, there's still not much going on. Except that I feel sort of old. Yesterday when I got home, I was walking toward my apartment when i passed these kids trying to get their football out of a large pine tree. I stood there for a moment assessing the situation, deciding whether or not I could and should help. It looked to me that the ball was about 10 feet up. I can barely jump that high on my good days, but I was fairly confident that I could at least reach the branch that the ball was on. But i wasn't confident enough to try, so i went inside. But I was still a little bothered that I didn't offer to help, because I knew they'd never get it down by throwing sticks and twigs. It was a little sad. So I decided that if by the time I changed outta my work clothes and they still didn't get that ball, I'd go out there and get it for them. I got into the room where I keep my work clothes, and I watched these kids try all sorts of stuff. They attacked on multiple fronts, with one kd throwing a basketball while another climbed up the trunk of the tree. I was actaully pretty impressed. The tree didn't look too sturdy though, and I envisioned a branch snapping, sending the kid plummeting down the ten feet onto his head or breaking his leg or something, and as he lay there, the football would fall down and hit him in the head or something. But that didn't happen. I really wanted to help them get that ball, cos i felt kinda guilty that i was just watching. But then i decided, why should I? Or should I? I mean, it was a scene that I've suffered through many times myself. A Nerf Boomerang here, a football there, I've lost my fair share of shit on roofs and in trees. But we usually found a way to get it out. If I help these kids now, how'd they get it down the next time? I really had my doubts they'd get the ball though. But i was having a great time watching. I must've stood there for about 5 minutes. By now it was a neighborhood-wide effort, with at least 5 or 6 kids trying to get that damn ball. Finally, one of them hit it with the basketball, and down it came. Then the kid who got the football started shouting orders and rules of the game, and they went about their business. I think i kinda smiled. It reminded me of the times years ago in John Kluck's backyard playing football or something with a bunch of friends that a rarely see at all anymore, like Doug. It made me feel really old. These kids looked so small and helpless, but I was smaller than them when I was getting grounded for things like jumping off of my roof. Now I'm that guy you see coming back from the office when you're playing football after school. Oh well.
On a more disturbing
note, I'm really convinced that that startup music that plays when Windows
95 boots up has some sort of sublimninal message, and when the clock strikes
midnight in the year 2000, or at least when the banks open, people will
start sending their money to Bill Gates. I think that's what the real Y2K
crisis is. I really think so. Otherwise, it's all a bunch
of malarky. What's the big fucking deal. I don't see why all these
people are shitting their pants and all these magazines on "Y2K Strategies"
are being made. You know this is all Microsoft's fault. If i never
have to hear the term "Y2K Compliant" again, it'll be too soon. What a
buncha bullshit. You realize of course that this is all Bill Gate's
fault. Too bad he's untouchable. So if you're computer's not
Y2K compliant, why dontcha look into buying a nice new Macintosh?
They're sleek, eye-pleasing, faster than Pentiums, and able to run all
the windows and Mac software out there. Plus, they're able to operate
past the year 2000, till about the yeat 24,000.
But you know what really
angers me about this whole Y2K thing? It robs the year 2001 of it's
status of being the true new millenium. Everyone's gotta be so goddam
impatient. Well, not me. I will not be doing any millenial celbration until
December 31, 2000. So the calendar switches to 2000. whoop-dee-doo.
It's just like the people of the world to not wait a year. I mean, they've
waited this long for the 3rd millenium, can't they just wait an extra year?
I know I will. If I could just find a way to cash in on it...
How about, get ready... Y2K....Point
1? that'd be Y2K.1 . I mean, everything
is .1 or .2 or .something these days. I think it's rather smart.
It looks kinda sharp too. So if you'd like to join me for my Y2K.1
party in 639 days, RSVP ASAP. Cos there's only a limited number of spots
available.
By the way, i think it's the first day
of Passover, whatever that means. If I wanna be on Jeopordy, I really outta
bone up on my religion. All I know is that the cream-cheese I bought yesterday
said "Kosher for Passover." super...
previous
| next
DA&R home
Archives
©1999 Three Match Breeze