March
1st, 1999. Monday
I can't believe it's March
already. The year's already 1/6 past. As you can tell, I'm a really
glass-is-1/10-empty kinda guy. One of my defining characteristics
is instant nostalgia. I can never truly enjoy a moment because I'm
too busy recognizing its transience. As soon as something starts
to happen, I usually think about it ending. it helps me appreciate
the moment more, but it subtracts actual enjoyment also. I savor
little moments so much because I'm always thinking things'll never be quite
like this again. oh well.
Over the weekend, I came
to a few realizations. First was a reaffirmation of something I already
believe. But after talking with jen, we once again realized that
we and our peer group are far superior to normal people. We're just
better. We've all thought so independently, and weren't sure if we
were just egomianiacs. But now that we've discussed it, there's not
even a doubt. i know most people think they're better than others, but
it's only true for us. some survey said that about 90% of people
think their condition is better off than other people they know.
Obviously, all this reveals is that a whole buncha people are wrong.
At least 40% of these people are worse of than the rest. I would
even venture to say that 80% of these people are kidding themselves.
We really are funnier, wittier, and more intelligent than most people.
Sure there are undoubtedly people smarter, funnier, and wittier than us,
but throw in attractiveness, and it's an overall package that's tough to
beat. We are the kings.*
One of the main reasons
behind the superiority of myself and my peers is the level of conversation.
I think we can speak semi-intelligently about just about anything that
doesn't require an advanced degree. Lately, it's been my opinion
that the majority of people can't speak intelligently about anything,
unless it has something to do with their jobs. And we all know how intersting
that can be. On saturday night, while bored and lonely, I went to
Blockbuster to rent a movie. Behind me in the slow-as-molasses line was
a couple, presumably on the second leg of a dinner-movie date. Eavesdropping,
i could hear the pain of their existence in every word these poor souls
uttered. I guess ignorance really is bliss. If they could only
hear themselves... I'm sure they'd end it all. Sometimes I wish that
everyone could have a Flowers For Algernon-type experience
and realize what dullards they really are. what they sound like.
my god, it's horrifying. Sure, you could say the same thing about me, but
I write pretty much how I talk, and this seems A-ok. Almost everything
the guy said, the woman responded with "uh-huh-huh-ha." Her laugh
was about as expressive as the way it looks typed. Sometimes she'd
mix it up with a "you're so right," or "that's funny," prefixes, but for
the most part, it was this bland but strangely not-disintersted laugh.
I was just so dissapointed in the world to realize that this was one of
the most intelligent- or least unintelligent- conversations in the joint.
I can only imagine what they talked about at home. "Gosh, that was
sure a funny, funny movie. Really, really funny." "uh-hu-huh-huh.
Yeah. it really was funny." "So you liked the movie?" "yes,
i liked the movie. uh-hu-huh-ha." Christ.
Then there's these meatheads
you see and hear in bars. What are they thinking? "Yo baby, how's
about gittin' jiggy wit me?" The worst part about these guys is that
there must be female counterparts somewhere who eat this shit up. I mean,
there's at least gotta be one guy in each herd that's at least marginally
successful with da girlies to allow this behaviour to continue. I
can't believe people my age and older still behave this way. Sure, i'm
as likely to make an ass out of myself as the next guy. But it's more in
a mocking, self-deprecating way, because failure is almost all but assured.
and it's mostly for shits and grins. It makes a good story. Sure,
if something came of me shamelessly freakin' some girl, and be all "Yeah,
boyyyyy!" to my homies the next day. but that's not likely or worth
any sincere effort. I can't even imagine what one says to a person
you pick up in a bar the next day. But i suppose that's the point.
the one-more-notch-on-the-bedpost thing. HO!!! I'm sure it
goes something like:
"Man, I got SO wasted last night."
"I know, I was TOTALLY drunk."
"Yeah, but you were, like, totally HOT."
Someday, when I'm running the show, something's gotta be done about this. I'm not sure exactly what, but Something.
Another of my realizations
this weekend, strangely also discovered at Blockbuster, was the fact that
I have absolutely no self control. The only discipline i have is that which
reality forces upon me. As I was walking out of Blockbuster,
i noticed that i had only 14 dollars left out of 40 i withdrew only hours
earlier. had i charged my purchases that day, i'd have thought nothing
of it. But as it was, i had only 35% left of the money that I had
alotted for the week. All i can say is thank god that charging things
is still something of a burden, and not as easy as a cash-transaction.
I'd be in the poor house. All this virtual, electronic stuff makes
things so easy. i can see how internet-based business is booming.
I constantly tell Berry while we watch TV, that i'm so lucky that there
isn't a machine right by the couch that allows me to press a button which
instantly produces a bowl of Cookie Crisp cereal or Oreo cookies or something.
I'm such a sucker to the powers of suggestion. i really am an advertiser's
dream come true. I swear, if such a machine existed, that'd be the
end of me. I'd windup a poor, pale, bloated hobo. Last night, for
instance, There was a commercial for Kellog's Frosted Mini wheats.
Before the commercial was even over, i was pouring nice cold milk over
a bowl of semi-stale Mini Wheats that were at least 4 months old, cereal
that i ran out and bought most likely after seeing a commercial. The only
thing that stops me from buying and eating everything i see on tv is reality.
Thank god. The mere thought of getting up, getting dressed, driving
to the store, getting cash so i can go throught the express line, etc.,
makes it more of a chore than i'm willing to do. This is one area
where my inherent, overwhelming laziness really saves my ass.
* by the way, didja notice
the "regal" color scheme?
12:56 pm. There was a little confusion just now about some meeting that supposed to be going on. Some guy came up to me and asked "Can somebody give us a brief...?" Apparently, he wanted a "briefing" on the "status" of the "situatioin." Not in any position to do suich a thing, I directed him back toward the conference room and told him it was being taken care of. . "Brief?" Gimme a fucking break already. Why does everyone around here have to be so fucking stuffy and "official." Is he incapable of using regular, standard Englsih. Why can't he just say, "So, is the meeting being set up?" i guess you feel more important and more legitimate if you're a non-military person working in a military setting if you're speaking the lingo. For the luvagod. I'll tell ya, besides the people i directly work with everyday, I can't stand these people sometimes.
4:12- I just talked to Nora a little while ago. She thought I should list the people that we mutually agreed on as being "superior." So, here's the list, along with why. Hope I'm not fergettin anyone:
G-Rock- For obvious reasons.
Nora Z-B - See above, loves herself as much as
Greg loves himself.
John Arbenz Hazlett, Jr. (Jed) -All around funny
guy and GGTK (Good Guy To Know)
James Dimitrios Angelos- Musical stylings,
wit, lack of will to live.
Matthew Emmett O'Brien- Funny guy, bag o'
shit at times. But funny.
and although Nora doesn't really know her, it's my list, so i'll add Roddzilla, my GFLOABT (Girlfriend for Lack of a Better Term). Deemed "superior" based almost solely on her toleration and near-affection of myself.
DA&R
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