Mail to G-RockJune 14, 1999. Monday
I think writing in this journal almost everyday has made my life more boring. I mean, I like that I keep a daily record of things that happen to me, since I'm obsessed with when and where things happen and with whom, and it clears my head of a lot of the random gibberish that goes through my head everyday. But now I'm not so sure that's a good thing. While it lets me record some nice little thoughts that I have, I find that after i write them down, I rarely think about them again. The only time i really think about them is when I'm reading over past entries. And I spend a lot more time these days walking around and not thinking at all. I just walk around, performing whatever tasks needs to be done, and that's it. I don't daydream, fantasize, or ponder stupid questions. I just do things. that used to be one of the biggest problems I had with my job, but now I have that problem with my journal. It's taken the thought out of the non-journal time. Now that I don't have to remember anything, think my memory's getting worse. actually, there was something I wanted to write just now, but I can't remember. And it's really bothering me.
By the way, do you know what today is? That's right, today is Wednesday. Know what else it is? it's the LAST Wednesday I'll ever set foot in this office. You know what tomorrow is? Yes, it's only a day away, true. But it's also the LAST thursday I'll ever come here and write this. Know what the day after that is? It's THE last day I will ever come here! Yeeeee-haaaw!
Just so you know, I'm more tired right now than I've ever been in my life, and maybe it will show in these random babblings. Maybe not. We'll see.
So let's see... here's what I did yesterday:
I pondered getting a haircut, had dinner, asked Matt about the haircut, and went to get my haircut. I walked down to the place in Dupont Circle where Nora got her hair cut when she was here last month. if you ask me, twenty bucks for a haircut is fucking ridiculoso, but i gave in. when I told the woman to just basically cut it to look like it does now, only shorter, she muttered a disappointed "Oh..." Beats me... Anyway, after she cut the sides, I looked a lot like Vanilla Ice. Then when she was cutting the top she asked how I wore it. So I told her, just kinda a contirved dissheveled, and she said, OK, and she proceeded to give me a very, very dorky 'do. She just got the comb out and parted my hair from ear to ear, and gave me a very neat, yuppie looking haircut. Why she did this, after specifically asking me how I wanted it, is beyond me. I kept thinkg that is was just some weird method of cutting it, because the place I went before really scared me until the last 5 minutes. So, not wanting to expose my ignorance, I just let it go. But when she said "All done" I had to speak up. I turned my dorky mug toward her and said "I, um, don't usually wear it like this," while waving my hands over my head. again, she seemed disappointed and made half a half-assed attempt to correct the problem. Thanks. Thanks for nothing, ya no good wench. 21 bucks, when I coulda gone to Supercuts down the street. The last time, I had no problem paying 20 bucks, but this hardly seemed worth it. Of course, I didn't feel as bad as the guy who was paying that for a crewcut. It was kinda funny, the guy giving the crewcut was meticulous about it, like he was trying to make this guy feel allright about paying 20 dollars for a crewcut.
too tired to finish paragraph.
When I got back to Matt's, I decided to give Nicole a call, and we headed back into the circle and had some coffee and some eats. pleasant enough. I had more to write, but for the life of me I can't remember. I'm so very tired. I think I'll end this here, so I have something to think about later.
I just got back from the dentist. "New excercises in pain" would some it up. I actually find it amazing that contorting your face into hideous shapes alleviates some of the pain. I usually just grimace and roll my eyes back into my head. This time hurt a lot more than usual. But you know, it's a good kinda hurt. I really don't mind rinsing out my mouth and seeing a good amount of blood and gums. It makes my mouth feel clean. I went in because I was pretty sure I had a cavity in my upper right molar. Well, I was right, but it turns out that the cavity was the most serious out of four. I have horrible teeth. Well, no, I have good teeth, but and I take care of them to an extent, but genetically they're bad. The front's ok, but once you get inside, it's not pretty. My mouth is riddle with fillings, caps, and now, cavities. The hygenist was a very friendly women, but she talked to much. i don't mind when they ask me a series of yes and no questions, but she was really trying to delve into my life. It's tough to respond when you're on your back and your mouth is full of blood and tartar.
The women who took my x-rays told me that she used to live in NY, and her son goes to NYU. I told her I'd also be there soon, and she said how jealous she was. She lived in New York her whole life, and only moved here 4 years ago. She said she hates it, and there's so much more to do in NY. That made me feel much better about my imminent move, especially since, no matter how bad a place or situation is, I kinda get nostaligic for it as the end nears. I have to go back to the dentist on friday, by the way. It'll be a race to see how many cavities the guy can fill in a small amount of time. You shoulda seen the dentist. He looked so forlorn. He really pitied me I think. "Look at this foolish young man... such a bright future. If only he weren't cursed with such horrible teeth." When he first said "You ... have some cavities," he said it in a tone usually reserved for telling a 4-year old that his dog just died. I was like "Doc, look in my mouth. I've seen it all before. It's OK. Really." He just kept going on. "*sigh....* You should have taken care of this sooner!" Pretty soon he was making feel really bad. Oh yeah, I can't wait for Friday.
DA&R
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