June 11, 1999. Friday.
 

 
    "Hey Matt, Does this shirt make me look too gay?"

    That was the question I asked Matt and his girlfriend (recently reconciled) as I left his apartment last night to move my car.  I decided that in the predominantly gay neighborhood in Dupont Circle, wearing just my cut-off shorts and tight white t-shirt might send the wrong signal. So i put on my new short-slave button down, fresh from TJ Maxx, but it looked a bit to small. The sleaves were kinda short and the hugged my chest and arms and made me look kinda, well, gay.  So I switched shirts and took off, still feeling a little less than masculine. But i suppose that's normal.
    It's odd. I can't decide how to act or dress in the neighborhood. Should living in a gay neighborhood make me feel like I should assert my heterosexuality more, or should I just take advantage of the situation and not care if I look like a total flamer since people will assume I'm gay anyway?  And I gotta tell you, with my new short, stylish haircut, and tight white t-shirts, I do look kinda gay. If I saw a picture of me and I weren't me, I'd say I that I looked pretty gay.
    So on my way out the front door, some woman was locked out, and I just let her in. She was very appreciative, and we exchanged a freindly greeting. As I walked out of the building, I felt kinda weird.  I felt as if I posed a less threatening presence to women. Not that I'm some imposing figure or anything, but I feel like women around there see me as absolutely no threat whatsoever.  That's probably the case in general, but now I feel like they don't even have to worry that some weird Chinese guy is gonna hit on them.  Not that I would anyway, but sometimes I get the feeling that some girls just always expect guys to hit on them or something.  Anyway, as I walked across the Freemason building, I just suddenly felt much more friendly, like I could be everyone's pal. It was a nice feeling.  So I checked my car out, saw no ticket, and pranced on back up to Matt's. Once there, I accounced:  "You know what? I think I like being gay!"
    Sometimes when I'm in the building I almost feel bad not being gay. I dunno. this whole experience has been truly bizarre. And it's not because I'm not comfortable with my sexuality or anything like that. I have no problem with how someone lives and it's not like I run and scream "Look out! They're gay!"  But anyone would have to admit that it's just plain weird to be assumed to prefer the company of men to the company of women, when you know that's not the case.  Admittedly, seeing two men make out kinda grosses me out. Then again, I've never been a big fan of any sort of PDA, homo, hetero, or otherwise. If you wanna suck face, that's all fine and good by me. I just don't wanna see it while I'm eating or waiting to use the bathroom or something.

   So anyway... I like the new Pavement album more everyday. As I knew I would. I'd say right now "Billie" is my favorite song. Except for the chorus. But that too is growing on me.  It's Pavement at their best:  whimsically serious, cacophonious yet catchy.  And Steve Malkmus is at his best when his voice is blaring and straining.  It's so damn earnest.  And who else could make words like "General Washinton" seem like it means something.  And that "Carrot Rope" is just too good.  Although they've lost their edge in a lot of ways, I'm glad to see that regained some of their light-hearted silliness. Silliness is really the wrong word. What I mean is, the album isn't nearly as slow and somber as Brighten the Corners. While still a wonderful album, it wasn't as peppy as I'm used to Pavement being.
 
    I can't remember what I was gonna write. I just got a call from Nora from London, and I've completely lost my train of thought.  rats.
    For anyone who is curious, she's doing well. She got a new job working at an oh-so English establishment: Starbucks.  Thousands of mile travelled to work at Starbucks. BUt like she said, it's still London.  And yes, I'm a little jealous.

    I've been spending the last hour or so reading little essays about the web and web journals in particular.  I'm not too sure what I think of these essays. A lot of them seem to be hipper-than-thou kinda shit.  But they also have a lot of good points.  Some stress the importance of good design, others stress content, and some stress them all.  Personally, I think content is the most important. That's obvious. But you still need something to catch the eye. That is, if you're looking for you page to get read. And why would you put it on the web otherwise?

Well, my mood has changed significantly since i started this 2 hours ago. I think I'll keep this short for a change. And I still have a ton of email to answer.  Actually,  I think it's all to Mimi, whose emails I have to pour over and answer each individual question. Not that I mind. It's not like I'm incredibly busy or anything. I fear that when I quit my job, I'll be too busy to write in my journal. We'll see.

Oh yeah, on last thing. With all this millenium hogwash and all, don't you think it's awfully ethnocentric to assume that the year 2000 means anything at all. I mean, the "first" day of the "first" year, is supposedely what, the birth of Christ? First of all, I seriously doubt that. And what percentage of the world was going along with this method of measuring time in the year 1 AD. Hell, what percentage was following this in 1000 AD?  Not a lot, I'd say.  China, home to 1/4 of the worlds population, only really started this less than 100 years ago.  And I'm sure the only reason Muslim countries acknowledge it is because the infidel Americans run the world.  But still, it's awfully silly to think that the world's gonna end just becuase some carpenter was bron 2000 years ago.  And as long as I'm on the subject, let's take a little time to remember that in the year 2000, it's only 1999 years have passed since this supposed Christ thing, and the true new millenium doesn't start until 2001. Didn't anyone ever hear that patience is a virtue? Did Christ or some Christian guy say that? I hope so. The irony would be too delicious.

And again, I'd like to plug my "Y2K.1" concept. That's copywritten, by the way. So HANDS OFF, PUNK!

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