April 22, 1999.  Thursday

  Well, the headache is still hanging around.  It subsided a little bit yesterday, which was a suprise. Maybe it was due to the rain. I'm really hoping that it's just allergies, because i don't know what else it could be. I woke up with a headache this morning, after a rather vivid a gruesome nightmare.  Very odd.  Some sort of dismemberment.  I really wonder where my mind comes upwith these things.  It wasn't the dismemberment that disturbed me, it was the way it happened. But i don't want to think about it rightnow. Sometimes after a wake from a nightmare, I do things just to scare myself, and i hate that.I don't know why, but ilet my mind wnader into some freaky weird places. And it scares the shit outta me.  But now i'm here at work and things are normal.

    I was hoping to et off from work tomorrow since a lot of the DC are will be closed due to the NATO summit tomorrow. I really don't think we should have to come to work. Basically, the NATO leaders are touring the DC area, and they don't want to have to deal with traffic, so they're keeping as many people off the roads as they can.  I work about a mile from the Pentagon, and  I figured they'd head over there, so it make sense to me to send all workers in the area on a three day weekend.  But at this point I don't think it's gonna happen.  By the way, something about having 19 world leaders in one area makes me a little uneasy. Particularly when I live in that area. If anyone wanted to cripple the NATO alliance, now would probably be the best time to do it. I don't think there'd ever be an easier way to wipe out more heads of state than this weekend.  I mean, they're ALL HERE.  One bomb would do it.  Plus, it would be a great victory against NATO and various infidels to kill the leaders of the treaty group when they're here to celebrate its 50th anniversary.  That'd have a huge impact, especially with the psuedo-war going on right now. But I better stop now. You never know who'll they'll come after if some shit goes down.  I don't wanna end up on some list of subversives.  Especially webgeeks with their own webpages.  So, um...anyway... last night Berry and I proclaimed ourselves loyal, devoted American citizens, faithful to the US government and it's many, many allies abroad. We made flour and water relief-maps of various NATO countries, and carved NATO tatoos on each other.  We love America. And we love NATO. We'd never want ANYTHING bad to happen to it. In fact, the thought of it seems silly.  HAHA. HOHO.  We are in no way conspiring or hoping for anything bad to happen to the NATO leaders this weekend. In fact, I'll even be out of town, to make sure that I can't affect any of the happenings.  And Berry will be spending the weekend in bed.  So you see... we're in no way a threat to anyone!  USA! USA! USA!

    That amused me.

    Anyway, Berry and I went out for a meal last night. It was nice, since I've been eating nothing but variations of salty pasta dishes this whole week. I really needed some sort of perishable food in me. So of couse we went to the same pizza place we always go to. But i had a salad. It was my first helping of vegetables since the last time Berry and I went out to dinner. I so felt healthy, despite eating the whole of a gigantic stromboli. And with swimsuit season right around the corner. You go, Girl!
    Anyway, dinner was pleasant enough.  I tried to not talk about the school thing, because it was depressing and it kinda give me the creeps to think about. But when i think about the Hitler implications that people are making, it makes total sense. Neo-nazis and skinheads are always the voiceless and the weak, who have no other rallying point besides their race.  but i still do blame simple things like the meaness of kids for making these kids outcasts. Like i've said, i in no way condone their actions, in fact i hope they're in hell right now.  But i can see their motivation.
    This led Berry and I to the rare instance where we both agree on something. We both agree that no preventive measure takem by schools or counselors or anything will ever be able to stop this. It all comes down to parenting. As much as we might not like to admit it, we're what our parents made us to be. Often, we are our parents. Nothing wrong with that, at least to me. We both also agreed that we'll practice corporal punishment on our kids. I was spanked as i child. So was Berry. She said that kids don't understand anything else. Normally when she makes comments like that., it annoys me. But in this case, I wholeheartedly agree.  When i worked at the kindegarten, no amout of "time out" could change a rotten kid's behavior. It was only when i threatened to lock them in a dark, smelly basement bathroom that they responded with the desired effect.  You gotta use fear. You can't try o reason with them. You have to get in touch with their most basic emotions. Rodzilla maintains that children are inherently good, that they're goodness personified.  Personally, I think she's romanticizing that just a bit. Ok, a lot.  But we all know how mean children can be. They have so many wants and needs.  I wouldn't call that inherently good. Why do you think "childish" is a negative term?  Maybe she meant babies, fresh from the womb.  Ok, i'll concede that a small newborn is very cute and I'll probably weep at the image of my firstborn, but i'm not gonna think he's inherently good when he starts coloring on the walls and peeing all over the place.  So if i want to raise em with the proper values, my own personal values, there's no other way than to beat it into them if they stray from the path.  This isn't to say that i'm going to impose all my beliefs on them. But i was spanked by my parents for infractions like extreme disobedience and disrespect, and don't think there's anything wrong with that. Sure, at the time i did.  But all the counselors in the world saying that spanking doesn't help are full of shit.  Anyway, I was glad to hear Berry take this stance.
    So afer we for home I decided to make a stew.  An odd notion, i know. But i'd been thinking about it for a little while now. While it's not what i'd call normal to devote a lot of time thinking about a stew -the ingredients, the portions, the saltiness, etc.-  This will serve as my sustenance for the next few days.  And i gotta say, it's pretty tasty. Just like mom used to make. A nice Hungarian goulash.  MMMM... Hungarian....
    Speaking of Hungarians, there's no love lost between me and the Slavs.  Slav women are pretty nice, but slav men... fugetaboutit.  But i've said enough.  Of course I'm bitter toward the entire ethinicity because of a few bad encounters with only a handful of slavs, but this sort of behavior is not unprecedented in my peer group.  Matt, for example, once worked for a surly Honduran boss, and now hates all Hondurans because of it.  That seemed a little silly to me. Of course, now i practice the same behavior. But as I often tell Berry, I'm nothing if not a hypocrite.  Of course, i'm just kidding about hating the slavs. I just hate every one I've ever met.  Kiddind! kidding...

Almost everyone...

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