April
16th, 1999.
Another 7am day. I'm a little groggy, but that's to be expected. I was actually earlier today than when I have to be in by 8. Only 2 minutes late, and that was because I stopped for coffee and doughnuts. A guy's gotta eat. Anyhow, I had a supremely boring evening at home. Among the things I did: I watched TV, did my laundry, cleaned the entirety of my bathroom, watched more tv, and made a half-assed attempy to clean my room. The only thing that broke the monotony was when i realized that i was 50 cents short for the dryer, so i had to get dressed and go get money. And really, I would've gladly accepted the monotony over that. What a fucking pain in my ass.
Anyway, Jed is supposed to roll into town this weekend. He was actually supposed to last night, but I don't know if he's even made it home to WV yet. And i didn't hear from him last night, so i'm assuming that he's not coming tonight either. But hopefully he will. Cos i got nothing to do. I suppose I could read that book that Rodzilla loaned me. Not exactly light reading. Kafka's Metomorphosis. There's something I don't like about reading about a guy who turns into a giant bug right before I go to bed. Espscially when I see roaches and whatnot on occasion throughout my appartment. I'd hate to be reading about a big vermin and it's wriggling legs and look down at the floor and see one scampering by. If there's 3 things I can't stand, one of 'em's bugs. Especially bugs that can't fly. I don't mind houseflies so much. As long as I can swat it away and it won't sting me, I can deal with it. But if it's gonna crawl around and risk making a gushy mess somewhere, I'd rather not deal with it. I've gotten real squemish about these thing lately. Something about squeezing the life out of something and tossing it in the toilet. I dunno. Killing used to be no problem for me. Now i think if I were trapped in the woods or an island or something I'd be a vegetarian. How did I get more squemish since I've been a kid? That really bugs me. No pun intended. Sorry...
So... i've read about 13 pages of this book since I started it on Sunday. that's almost 3 pages a day. Actually, I read about 2 pages of the introduction, so that makes it 15 pages. I'm a reading fool. Maybe She'll let me borrow it for a few more weeks or months. I at least want to finish the story. There's really no chance that I'll finish the book. I'm a busy guy, ya know. But i think Metomorphosis is something I should read. I don't know why. I don't feel very intelligent at times. I know I'm a smart guy, but only in certain ways. I know a lot about a lot of things, but applying that has always been kinda tricky. I know lotsa facts on their own, but i can't really tell you the significance. I was checking out Rodzilla's grades yesterday. It really makes me sick. There were only ever 2 professors that I was "down" with where they'd give me anything close to an A. I really think that's what you need. Outside of music classes, I think I only got 3 or 4 A's in my entire college career. Music classes were kind of a joke. Anyway, I always felt like the professors get this idea of what kind of student you are after one test or something, and it's impossible to break outta that category. Maybe they could tell I didn't know what the hell I was doing. Maybe my laziness isn't as covert as I thought it was. Of course, grades aren't really a measurement of how smart you are. It's just that when I see someone doing really really well, I'm like why the fuck was I such a dumb dumb head in school. I guess the answer is I really didn't care enought to put that much effort into it. Just ok was always fine with me. Sure, it was nice if my efforts got me high grades, but it was acceptable if they got me average scores. The only really disappoint class I ever took was Money and Banking. What a fucking nightmare. I think I had a B-/C+ going into the final. I stayed up all night studying for that. I ended up with a D+. I think the final was curved too, since all the tests were. That means i had to have gotten about a J- on the exam, with the curve. That shit never made much sense to me anyway. too bad I didn't find that out until senior year. So now i'm trying to make up for it by posing as something of a lzay intellectual. The only good thing about that is that there's no test to measure how intellectual you really are. So if I can just spout random Jeopardy-esque facts now and again, I think I'm in good shape.
All my knowledge is so half-assed and cheap it's ridiculous. I get so much from TV, even cartoons. Cartoons, especially older ones, can be incredibly informative. I got a lot of early pilgrim and Puritan history from cartoons. Things like Miles Standish and whatnot. I got a lot of info from those formative years spent cartoon watching. Of course, I also picked up a desire- more of a need, really- to be able to design elaborate booby-traps, and sneaking up behind someone and suprising them, a la the Roadrunner or Tom and Jerry. Tom and Jerry is still the best cartoon ever made. I love the way almost all the sound effects are done with an orchestra. And it's so seemless. It's never obtrusive. it fits right in. But i'll tell you who I can't stand is tha goddam Droopy. Sure, it's funny at times, but I'd always sit around waiting for Tom and Jerry, and I'd see that Metro-Goldwyn-Meyer lion, and expect to see Tom and Jerry, and there'd be that fucking dog going "Hello!" I'd sit there shaking my fist in the air, cursing "Damn you, Droopy!" There was also Barney Bear, but he'd show up less frequently, but he was even more annoying, cos it was almost always the same episode.
I sure have written a lot about nothing today. But i haven't been thinking about anything in particular lately. The only thing I really thing write now is about where my life is going, and it's kind of a depressing prospect, so I'd rather not think about it. I think i need a lifestyle change. I gotta start looking forward insteada back. Or at least live in the present. I'm too good at instant nostalgia. But the future looks a little bleak, and the past is of course the Golden Age, whether it really was or not. But it sure seems better than now. Money's all fine and good, but what's the fun if you can't find a fun or stupid way to spend it. There's always Atlantic City. Anyway, maybe I'll go out with Matt tonight, or tomorrow. In the meantime, I'm looking for new ways to stave off boredom. Work would be a change. I'm actually getting too lazy to use the internet. Too much trouble looking at the computer, typing things in, clicking here, clicking there, blah blah blah...
Oh well. Maybe I'll come up with something more interesing later.
There's some window washers cleaning the windows of the building across the street. There's seven of them, repelling down the building. That looks like a nice, honest job. Not something I'd like to do everyday. I mean, your luck's bound to run out sometime. But i admire someone who's good with a squeegy. I don't know how they wash the windows without any streaks. It's all in one seemless motion too. The soap the window, clean around the edges with a towel, and squeegy the rest in one masterful stroke. I wish i could do that. Maybe i'm using low quality equipment. I always get all sorts of streaks. I think it'd be pretty cool to repel down buildings for a living though. And you get to sit down while you work. For manual labor, it's not that bad. It's better than being a janitor or something. You get to work outside, and people watch and actually admire you. I do, anyway. It's the closest thing i've seen to construction workers hanging out on steel girders on an incomplete building. I wish the window washers carried their black steel luch pales with them and would eat while hanging from the building at great heights, like you always see those construction workers do on TV. that'd be pretty cool.
By the way. Anyone know how to spell "squeegy"?
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