I was a bit shocked this morning to learn of the suicide of Elliot Smith. But then I wasn't that surprised. I've never been able to fully embrace his music, simply because I couldn't bear to. It's just too emotionally draining. But I appreciate it, and I do enjoy much of his work that I've heard, mostly through Caryn and Miss Charming Melodee. But what I keep thinking about now is the suicide scene in the Royal Tennenbaums where his song "Needle in the Hay" is playing. Miss Charming Melodee thought playing that song during that scene was overdoing it, but I thought it really worked. Just his voice and the dark acoustic guitar sound really fit the scene and the mood. I wonder if it would've been considered in bad taste had he killed himself before the movie came out. Now it's just sad and darkly ironic. Stabbed himself in the chest, for god's sake. That really takes a strong mix of extreme depression and determination. It's not like taking pills or shooting yourself in the head with a shotgun or even slitting your wrists and falling asleep. Stabbing yourself in the chest takes a lot of resolve. You can't just pull a trigger and be done with it. You've got to endure the pain. Maybe that was the point. Make the last moments as painful as possible so there's no second thoughts. How morbid.Now that I'm thoroughly depressed...
I've finally made official plans to get down to Austin next month. I've been wanting to go for many years now, and last week I just decided to do it. For a while I was humoring the notion of accompanying Geoff when he goes to Spain next week, but as much fun as that would've been, it would be a terrible financial burden. So Austin it is. But not till November. The timing of my trip coincides with Jenny G (formerly of DC), relocationg to Austin. Currently, she's touring North America with her dog and a rotating crew of people in her Honda Element. I'm very, very jealous. Especially after seeing the pictures she took. But then again, sleeping outdoors is just never very appealing to me. First of all, I wouldn't feel particularly safe unless I had a gun nearby. I've just seen too many movies to feel totally comfortable in the wilderness all alone in the middle of the night. I don't know how she does it. Any number of murderers, rapists, bears, mountain lions, and coyotes could make short work of an unsuspecting- or even suspecting- camper. But the driving and indefinite road-trip aspect I find very appealing, particularly the meanering about wherever you feel like it. Anyway, she's settled on Austin, at least for a few months, and I've been meaning to go see my old pal Doug, who I haven't seen in seven years, by God, so to Austin I go. I gotta get outta this burg for a while anyway. And Texas is as good a place as any. I guess.
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