August 26, 2002. Monday
Lately,
I've been seeing more than the usual amount of kids and teenagers selling
candy in the subways. Normally it's for their basketball team or
something. Today, while waiting for the 2 train at 14th St., I was
sitting there minding my own business, when this kid sits down right next
to me. He starts saying something about "seeing your mother, or father,
or brother," or something that I couldn't understand. Just mumbling.
I thought he was just crazy. Then it turned out that he was selling candy.
Here was his pitch: "I'm selling this candy so I don't have to rob or mug
or kill anyone." Kill anyone? That one got my attention.
It certainly the most compelling argument I've heard to buy some peanut
M&M's. So no one buys candy, and he's like "Anyone? Anyone?"
No one says anything. So he opens a can of Coke, and after the "Ssssttt..."
of the can opening he shrugs, "Could've been a bomb..." I wanted
to tell him "You really need to work on your sales pitch." But as
usual, common sense got the best of me. I didn't think he'd do anything
crazy except maybe pour his Coke on my head or something. But it
wasn't worth the risk. This was, afterall, a person who, if he is
to be believed, restrains himself from robbing and killing people by selling
candy for a dollar a pop. I hope his business doesn't slow down to
homicidal levels. Though, as I said, with that sales pitch, it's
hard to imagine he'd sell many bags of candy at all.
previous|next