August 26, 2002.  Monday
 
 
    Lately, I've been seeing more than the usual amount of kids and teenagers selling candy in the subways.  Normally it's for their basketball team or something.  Today, while waiting for the 2 train at 14th St., I was sitting there minding my own business, when this kid sits down right next to me.  He starts saying something about "seeing your mother, or father, or brother," or something that I couldn't understand. Just mumbling.  I thought he was just crazy. Then it turned out that he was selling candy.  Here was his pitch: "I'm selling this candy so I don't have to rob or mug or kill anyone."  Kill anyone?  That one got my attention. It certainly the most compelling argument I've heard to buy some peanut M&M's.  So no one buys candy, and he's like "Anyone? Anyone?"  No one says anything. So he opens a can of Coke, and after the "Ssssttt..." of the can opening he shrugs, "Could've been a bomb..."  I wanted to tell him "You really need to work on your sales pitch."  But as usual, common sense got the best of me.  I didn't think he'd do anything crazy except maybe pour his Coke on my head or something.  But it wasn't worth the risk.  This was, afterall, a person who, if he is to be believed, restrains himself from robbing and killing people by selling candy for a dollar a pop.  I hope his business doesn't slow down to homicidal levels.  Though, as I said, with that sales pitch, it's hard to imagine he'd sell many bags of candy at all.

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