June 18th, 2002. Tuesday
 
 

    This morning's subway horror was a heavy-set mustached man, eating a large container of cottage cheese.  When I first saw him opening the cottage cheese I thought, "Hmmm...cottage cheese sounds good today."  A few minutes later I just looked over at him again. There he was, chowing down on the cottage cheese, his mouth wide open, and little curds of cheese hanging from the side of his mouth and mustache.  For a brief moment we made eye contact, and he just stared at me, slack-jawed, cheese dribbling from his mouth. I find eating on the subway to be gross enough, but this man, with his big gut stretching his plaid short-sleave button-down, his barely present comb over over his liver-spotted scalp, the blank stare in his eye, really upped the ante.  Still, cottage cheese does sound good.
 
    The after-lunch fatigue has set in.  I have felt all day like I should be in a bad mood, and have even tried to force myself into a bad mood by thinking about things that I thought would upset me greatly psychologically.  This has failed for the most part.  I'm too tired. Not physically, just mentally tired of thinking of this stuff.  It's like I'm forgetting to get upset. I don't want to be in a bad mood, but for some reason I've got this nagging feeling like I'm forgetting about something that's bothering me. So I've been rotating through all the things that i think could be bothering me, and nothing's really sticking.  Ignorance really is bliss.  The only thing really bothering me right now is the fact that I have to go to my guitar lesson after work and then to work after my guitar lesson.  I'd kind of like to go home for a bike ride, then hang around my apartment, and possibly apartment building.  Ain't gonna happen though, for a myriad of reasons.
 

Songs on heavy rotation, mostly in my head:
Still that damn Flaming Lips song "Fight Test."  It's really simple and surprisingly melodic. But the more you listen to it, the more you really feel it.

Billy Bragg and Wilco  playing "My Flying Saucer," off the Bragg/Wilco/Woody Guthrie Mermaid Avenue, Vol. 2.  1:45 of great pop-folk.  I don't like any songs better than I like up-tempo sad songs.  You can rock out and celebrate a good mope.  Hmmm.  I just figured that out right now.  It feels like something of a revelation.
 
Hayden's "The Hazards of Sitting Beneath Palm Trees."  Another short but sweet number. Great guitar line, and one of the coolest low voices I've ever heard.
 

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