December 20th,
2001. Thursday
Here I am at work again. Once more unto the breach, dear friends. So what's going on? The business with the lady percussionist is occupying my mind a little more than I'd hoped it would. I tried to really not care. So much, in fact, that I didn't even really try not to care. I just didn't even think about it. But I'd be lying if i said not seeing her made me particularly happy. Two things, though- she has a boyfriend, and she's leaving the country in three months. So regardless, any sort of involvement would have been, in a word, dumb. She said we'd talk after the man left, but I'm not sure that's entirely a good idea, because of the two things just mentioned. It was fairly stupid of me to get involved, having known these two things almost from the get-go. And I'm pretty certain that her unavailability plays a pretty big part in her attractiveness. That too, is of course fairly stupid. As they say, "Oh well."
I'm not doing such a bang-up job of describing what's really going on, and I'm pretty sure there's no way to concisely describe this situation with my typical vagueness without me looking like an idiot, but I don't want to think about it anymore 'cause it really doesn't matter, and I can't add any more phrases to this run-on sentence, so let's move one.Moving on, it suddenly occurred to me last night that Christmas is only a few days away. I have gifts to make and to send. Almost everyone is getting a mix cd I made. It's a double cd though, and a lot of thought went into it, so I don't feel like that much of a cheapskate. Sure, I could've just run out and bought something, but this took a lot more time and consideration. And each one is semi-personalized to the person. For instance, for Caryn, I had to change the name of the disc from "The Nothing To Do With Christmas" Christmas Gift Mix to "The Nothing to Do With Hanukah" Hanukah Gift Mix. I even drew a menora and a Star of David on the cd. I just saw a little scrap of paper sitting on my desk, with these a few rough sketches of these two drawings, plus a bad drawing of a dreidel, as well as a picture of a Hasidic Jew that I was going to draw on the cd. I wonder what the co-workers or janitors would think if they saw this on my desk. I was listening to the cd yesterday, to the song "Deceptacon" by Le Tigre, that I had put on there specifically for Caryn, and I felt a little silly. I don't think Kathleen Hanna is singing to me, and would probably kick my ass if she had a chance. Not that "Deceptacon" isn't an itself absurdly silly. But it's got a really good bass line.
I've been thinking about teaching again. Not teaching again, but thinking about teaching...again. As in, I used to think about teaching, and am now doing so again. Anyway, the thought of of three months off and not having to do anything between Christmas and New Year's is very, very appealing. But i'll tell ya, nothing makes me hate kids more than trying to teach them. Most of them aren't very smart, and they can't take care of themselves. Sure, there are always those little moments that seem to make it all worth it, but the longer you teach, the bigger the descrepency gets in the "precious and cute" to "blood-boiling aggravation" ratio.
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