October 2nd, 2001.  Tuesday
 
 

    I had a job interview today.  At the company I worked for last summer, where James works, doing all that tedious tax code work.  But it's a job.  I was wondering exactly what sort of questions they'd ask me. I've gotten really terrible at interviews.  I just can't bullshit.  Anyway, so it's going fine, and she's telling me about the job and whatnot. She knew I worked there before and knew what to do etc.  She knows I just got out of journalism school and have been trying to write and would like to be doing that and I just want the job for some money and stability and healthcare.  But she still has to say to me "So, what's your interest in this job and this field?"  After a heavy internal sigh, I say "Well, I really like..."  then I pause.  It was an automatic response. I really had no idea what I planned to say next. I just sat there and heard myself and repeated the words in my head.  There was absolutely nothing I could say after that that would seem credible. At least, that's what I told myself. and it was probably true.  Talking to James later, he said you couldn't be human and appreciate anything about the tax code field.  If i'd tried to really make something up about what I liked about the field, i couldn't have lived with myself. Plus, I would have been really embarrassed because I would have lied so unconvincingly. I have really problems lying and feigning interest these days.  So what I ended up saying, in full, was "Well, I really like...uh... well, this wasn't the worst job I've ever had."  Terrible, I know.  But I promised myself I wouldn't bullshit.  I really didn't care that much I guess.  I just don't care.  Or, I can't care.  I just want a stable income. that's it. Nothing more, nothing less.  I'll keep my pursuits and dreams and try to find time to do something somewhat fulfilling, but man, I need money.  So she sort of laughed and said "but it wasn't the best job, right?"  And I said something like, well, no.  But the best jobs don't really pay anything.  But I told her that the work environment was comfortable and the people were friendly, and it was by far the best office environment I've worked in. Which is all true. It's fairly laid back, you can dress how you want, and pretty much make your own hours.  Mostly, though, I just sat there and nodded my head, and tried to make eye contact every now and again as we talked.  Then I had to take a proofreading test. It was pretty easy.  I think.  Anyway, after that, I found James, and we stepped outside and chatted for a bit.  I knew exactly how he'd react when he saw me.  He said something about me being somewhat dressed up for the interview, and mocked me.  Then he went the other way and said I should've worn a tie.  I doubt he was serious either way.

    Anyway, after that, i did a little browsing around the clothing stores around West 4th street. I found a dollar on the street, so yay for that.  It was dry, but oddly sticky.  I tried to use it at Arby's but my order came out to 5 bucks, and I only had 3 other singles. So I'm still stuck with this dirty dollar.  After a Beef n' Cheddar sandwich, I came home and sat around in my underwear, cleaning my room as I watched tv.  I talked briefly with one of my new upstairs neighbors.  She apparently also has afternoons off, since she was off to do her laundry around 3.  Plus, I hear her every morning playing her electric guitar right over my head.  It's either her or her roommate. I met her sister, I think, on saturday. She seemed sort of crazy.  They were out on the stoop smoking.  When people are out there, sometimes I like to just stand by the door and press the "listen" button that's on the door buzzer, and listen to what people are saying.  It's was an eerily cliched conversation about dank pot.  Complete with the "huh huh huh"'s and other silly laughs.  Anyway, I forgot this neighbor's name as soon as I heard it.  She said I should stop by sometime "and jam."  okey dokey.  I'm trying to guess what kind of music she likes.  Tops on the guess list, judging from how she looks and her guitar playing, would be Sleater Kinney.  Possibly Le Tigre as well.  We'll see.

    I was supposed to go bowling tonight with a coupla the girls I knew at Parks.  How I do like to bowl.  But one of them has homework to do, the other wasn't sure she'd be up for it after an appointment she had, so the planz were put on hold till later in the week. So I spent the evening watching tv, eating, and playing the guitar.  and updating the webpage archives. and that's it. I'm teaching tomorrow, and I should really be in bed.

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