September 25th, 2001.  Tuesday

    I had something good to open with.  I thought of it while I was waiting for the subway.  As much as I hate to admit it, I often write these things far in advance, and plan them so they sound just right.  I like to pretend that it's just for me, but of course it's not. I do keep it online, after all.  Anyway, my pithy opening has been lost yet again.  It wasn't so good that it was worth writing down or anything, but i'm disappointed that it's gone.
    So anyway, I woke up late today, and missed a doctor's appointment.  Then I skipped lunch and went to the gym, worked out, and ran a little over a mile.  One nice thing about unemployment is that it gives you a lot more time to take care of yourself.  I have time to exercise and eat healthier and read and write.  Not that I'm doing much of all that stuff.  And I guess, truth be told, I was actually going to the gym more often when I worked, because I had no one to talk to at lunch so I just went to the gym.  And I had pretty much gotten into a set schedule, which was nice.  And when I was working I could actually afford healthy stuff like fresh vegetables and non-sale rack meat.  So there goes that theory.  In reality, there's really nothing good about being unemployed.  Jed being unemployed now isn't helping much either.  The availability of another person around to goof off with is too much.  So i've been making a concerted effort to spend less time in the apartment.  I don't really do anything besides wander the city, but I feel like if I'm not home, i'm at least being a tad more constructive.  Whether or not that's true is really immaterial at this point.  Just staying in a state of mind that doesn't bog me down in the unemployment blues is important.  Of course, steady employment is pretty important too.  I've been living off the good graces of my parents on and off- mostly on- since I started grad school, and it really wears on the psyche.  I hate that I depend on them, but at the same time having that assurance that I'll never starve and always have a roof over my head doesn't give me the sense of urgency that I need.  I just can't get motivated to really try my hardest.  I make the token efforts to at least do a little something everyday toward employment, and I tell them that I'm trying, but it's blatantly obvious that I could be doing a whole lot more.  And I really, really need to.  I hate that I can't spend a dime without feeling guilty.  And I hate that I sit around fretting about it, because it just sounds like spoiled kid whining.  So i suppose it's far past the time to just buck up and get that shit job I've been avoiding for the past two years.  Self respect demands it.  Whatever other aspirations I have, like putting my journalism degree and writing to good use, just have to take the back seat for now.  Or I just need to find a way to do it while working a real job.  I mean, it's not like I'm doing any substantial writing right now anyway.  And I really, really hate sitting here and writing these long paragraphs about these things, knowing that most everyone who reads it would share the same reaction.  These are conclusions I should have had two years ago.  I guess I did, but I shouldn't have been ignoring them.  It's really ridiculous that I'm framing them as some sort of epiphany.  So let's not waste anymore time with that.
    Anyhow, when I got home, I was pleasantly surprised to see Jen sitting on the couch.  As part of her Ph.D. program, she's working at King's County Hospital.  She'd gotten off early, so she stopped by our place.  We were in my room, and she looked out the window across the alley and just started laughing.  The people across the way from me hang their laundry on a clothesline outside their window.  And today's crop had some rather bizarre items.  Something that looked like underwear, but far too large.  And one of them looked like it had an unseemly bulge in the right side of the bottom section.  It was all very bizarre. We assumed they were women's underpants. A very large woman's.  But the proportions were still all wrong.  But when we looked farther down the line and saw an enormous pair of green pants, that pretty much solved the mystery of whether or not they were the underpants of a very large person.  I suspect I'll be scrutinizing the laundry in the alley much more from now on.  And all this time, i've been paranoid that the neighbors have been looking into my window while I'm doing private things.  Maybe they are, maybe they aren't.  but at least I don't have enormous underpants with bulges caused my massive hemorrhoids.

    So then I rode into the city with Jen on the 2 train.  I had hoped to catch another Jen, Jen K from Parks, for coffee, but for some reason she's taking a Danish language class, so I had yet another afternoon of wandering around lower manhattan.  I walked up and down Broadway and Lafayette street a few times, got a coffee, made some calls, and sat outside a coffee shop.  Then off to my night time job watching tv.  I had to watch the ads on Fox tonight.  It wasn't too bad.  That 70's Show is generally entertaining.  And I watched the premiere of Undeclared, the new show by the guy who did Freaks and Geeks, which i enjoyed quite a bit.  Undeclared was along the same vein, if not as good as Freaks and Geeks.  I actually thought it'd be terrible, judging from the trailers I've been seeing, but it was really pretty good.  The characters seem like real people, and it looks like a good cast.  Maybe I'm remembering it better than it was, because the show I had to watch next was Love Cruise.  And it was just awful.  Terrible.  They just put the contestants in the most embarrassing situations imaginable.  Not interesting or funny or compelling.  Just embarrassing.  For those of you who had Channel 1 in highschool during the mid 90's, I think the "cruise director" was one of the anchors from there.  Much like Anderson Cooper, the host of "The Mole" on ABC.  How nice for them.

    I got an email from Caryn while I was at work.  She got a call over at Spin.  It was from actor/director/auteur Vincent Gallo.  He directed and starred in that movie Buffalo 66. I heard a quote about that movie that said something like "the best directorial debut since Orson Welles directed Citizen Kane."  Who said that?  Vincent Gallo.  Anyway, apparently he'd recently released an album, and was none too happy about the review it got in Spin.  Caryn's transcript, which i found quite amusing:
 

         i just chatted with vincent gallo who was none too pleased with the rating of "3" we gave his album (of
course, we reviewed it along with billy bob thornton's, which garnered a "2," making him look like a virtusoso by comparison).  he sounds wussy, yet gruff and pissy.  it was odd.

gallo:  "hi, this is vincent gallo."  pause.  "i'm calling to find out
who reviewed my record in your magazine."
me:  "hold on a second, vincent."
        i had to go tell alan (Spin's Editor in Chief) that someone else was on his line, so i left him on a hold a bit
me:  "okay, vincent?  what issue was this reviewed in."
gallo:  "i don't know, i guess the newest one."
me:  "the one with incubus on the cover?"
gallo:  "i don't know, i don't read your magazine."
me: "hold please."
me:  "okay, the writer's name is jon caramanica" and i spell it for  him.
gallo:  "does he work there?"
me:  "no, he's a freelancer."
gallo:  "how can i get in touch with him?"
me:  "you're going to have to speak with our reviews editor, jon dolan" and i spell it for him.
gallo:  "can you transfer me now?"
me:  "sure."
        phoebe ran to jon's office and told him not to pick up.

the end.
Oh, Vincent.  I guess some people just don't get it.  I like how he was trying to be condescending with the whole "i don't read your magazine.  I'm too important to read your insignificant little rag."  Yet he cares way too much that some reviewer didn't "get" his album.  I'm assuming that's what his problem is. Now I really want to hear it.  And Billy Bob's.

    Anyway, then back to the apartment.  James was in my bed reading the New Yorker when I got home.  Can't say I expected that.  When we were freshman in college, before I even really knew James that well, I'd often come home from class or somewhere, and find James in my room, lying on my bed, watching the Weather Channel.  Or sometimes I'd just come back and the TV would be on, set on the weather channel, and there'd be an empty Dr. Pepper and a cigaretter butt in my trash can.  And I knew James had been there.  Anyway, we sat around for a while, drank some whiskey, and listened to a new song off the new Silver Jews album from the Drag City webpage.  I'm very excited for this record.  It's been far too long.
Now I'm very tired. Must sleep. it's been far too long...

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