July 2nd, 2001.
Monday
Mail to G-RockWent home on friday for Jason's bachelor's party. I still can't believe he's getting married in 5 days. Wonder if he can.Came back on Saturday, eventually met up with Jen from DC and her friend Libby, whom I'd met before and am fond of. I met them at the Boat in Carol Gardens. Sat around drinking and shooting the shit till, oh, 2 in the morning. Then headed over to this party Libby knew about, a sort of rave-like party in some Brooklyn loft. It was ten bucks to get in, but Jen and Libby paid for me. Not sure why. Aren't the just the bees' knees?
Anyway, I couldn't think of anything to write for my writing class today, so I just wrote up the more interesting part of Saturday night. It was actually really well received, much to my surprise. And I'm too lazy to write up another account of the evening, so i just used the same thing I used for class. At this point in the story, we (being Me, Jen, and Libby) have just left the party, out the door and to the right. Most everyone else went left. I picked up a big leaf. So let's pick it up from there.
For whatever reason, I was standing in the middle of deserted Douglass Street, outside an abandoned warehouse, shirtless, and holding a giant leaf. I donāt know if the leaf was from a tree, some sort of decorative plant, or just a really big weed. All I knew was that Jen and Libby thought itād totally be the catās pajamas if I took off my clothes and held the leaf in front of me, a la Adam with the fig leaf. I only got so far as taking my shirt off before common sense took over. But then, to my horror, a not-so-far-off voice yelled "Hey, whatāre you guys doing?" I turned around, and saw a guy standing out of the sunroof in a blue Saab on the corner. Jen told her we were taking pictures, and if he wanted to be in them. But he had to be naked except for the fig leaf. "OK, I can do that," he said. He had a sort of desperate look in his eye, like he wouldāve done anything for Jenās approval. You find a lot of those kinds of people at 4am on a Saturday night. As he stepped out of the car, two girls popped out of the sunroof. One of them yelled/mumbled to me "Hey you, dark-haired one with no shirt, whatās your name?" "Ray," I told her. "Come Īere" she said. So I walked over, not quite sure if I wanted to put my shirt back on, or take my pants off and then walk over. I opted for neither. "How are you doing?" I asked. "Iām fine," she said. Iām assuming by "fine," she meant "totally fucking strung-out," because she looked like sheād just been put through the ringer: Really pale skin, stringy brown hair, glazed-over look in the eye, and weighing a buck-5, tops. Her hair framed her face in probably the worst way possible, but for some reason she still looked sort of attractive, in a heroin chic kind of way.
"Will you give me a kiss?" she asked me.
"Um·"
"You donāt have to if you donāt want to. But donāt worry, my boyfriend wonāt mind."
"Is that your boyfriend?" I asked, turning around and pointing at the now-naked guy Jen had posing for the picture. I was mildly amazed how quickly he had taken his clothes off and was now standing there with his jeans around his ankles and a giant leaf of who-knows-what covering his crotch. I was hoping for his sake, and mine, that the leaf wasnāt some sort of poison whatever. I was sort of angry because he was making me feel like a big wimp. He took off his clothes with no hesitation. I hedged and hawed for a while, then only tool my shirt off. So, I wondered, which of us has the bigger problem?
"Yeah, thatās him. He wonāt mind. He likes boys too." "Oh. Oh, Okay," I said. The other girl standing there just looked bored.
"Just give me one little kiss on the lips," she said."Hi, whatās your name?"
Libby. Thank God.
"How are you?" she asked Strung Out Girl.
"My name's Kelly. Iām really cold," Strung Out Girl said. So Iām standing there thinking "Cold? Itās 80 degrees out, this girl's wrapped up in a blanket complaining about the cold, looking like the Woman the Sun Forgot, with what may or may not be open sores and lesions around her mouth, and I actually considered kissing her full on the lips? What the hell am I doing? I guess I thought itād be some grand hedonistic gesture- Fuck yeah, letās all start making out. You, in the sunroof, why donāt you take off your shirt, weāll jump in the back seat- no better yet, weāll drive around in the car while making out, spicing up the encounter with a nice healthy does of reckless endangerment. Your silent friend there can change the gears while I work the pedals. Itās summer and weāre young and hip and crazy and loaded. Riiight. So she gets out of the car, loosens up the blanket to reveal some floral hot pants, matching bikini top, and thigh high boots. "Oh, I saw you before inside" Libby said. Then she tried to kiss Libby. She couldnāt have been more disgusting, and I couldnāt have been more intrigued. "Whatās it like in there?" I kept thinking. Whatās it like to live like that? Why doesnāt her boyfriend wear underpants? Does that nose ring piercing get infected a lot? She didn't look like te most hygienic girl.
Then it was time to go. Naked guy returned to the car, and for some reason I felt a little awkward. I guess I didnāt want him thinking I was trying to pick up his lady, despite her previous reassurances that he wouldnāt care. So we exchanged "nice meeting you"ās and took off.
About 4 minutes later, there I was, standing on a fallen street light, in my underpants full of holes, my right hand on my forehead as if I were blocking the sun, surveying the scene before me. Then we walked over to the Porta-Potty. Jen thought weād get some pictures, though I protested that I wouldn't partake in any scatological weirdness. "Um, how do we know this things empty?" I asked, voicing my other concern about the portable toilet unit. "What do you mean?" she asked. Just then, rustling from inside the john. At least that's what I heard. We ran. I was shirtless. The cool night air felt marvelous. Liberating. Freedom newly discovered through semi-nakedness. This night, I thought, is magical. At least sufficiently wacky, considering the late start we got and how boring my life has been lately. I wondered/hoped if the girls would take their shirts off. But I wasnāt holding my breath. Though my breathing was somewhat constricted, due to the fact that itās really hard to hold in your gut while maintaining a full sprint.
We stopped, took more pictures- me sitting with Libby, pretending to have a casual conversation on this deserted road, sitting on office chairs we found in a trash heap; standing on weird mounds of debris, posing pensively, clutching Jen's head. Jen came over, looking oddly radiant in the mix of oncoming daylight and the streetlights. She looked at me in a way that suggested a new understanding between us, a look in her eye that said "I'm so glad I came up from DC this weekend. The party was lame, but this, for some odd reason, made the whole trip worth it." The birds chirped. I looked at her, smile, and knew what I had to do. Leaning in, I said, "I want the negatives destroyed. Now."
And that's that. The class liked it, as did the teacher. They like my dialogue. I think, in general, they're impressed with me. Which is always nice. Though rarely experienced. Which justifies, in my mind, a little horn tooting on my part. Anyway, that last paragraph was embellished for the sake of the narrative. I just needed an ending. Though the light out was an odd mix, since it was getting toward daylight as we walked around. And the birds were indeed chirping. And I did say I wanted the negatives destroyed. And I think Jen was indeed glad she came up from DC. And the party was pretty lame. Terrible at points, actually. So, I guess only one or two sentnences of the last paragraph were really embellished. Let's play a fun game and figure out which one. Hint: I am a rotten bastard.
I could go on and on about Jason's bachelor party, which I attended on Friday, but really, i don't really want to talk about it, and I'm sure others don't want it talked about here anyway. But if you're familiar with Goro from the Mortal Kombat video game, that's pretty much the beginning of the story. Perhaps a more detailed telling later.
DA&R
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