May 30th, 2001.  Wednesday

 
    Not too much activity today, but accomplished a good amount.  Finally faxed in my contract for the website I'm writing mixed drink reviews for.  I'm not getting paid. Well, sort of.  I'm getting paid in stock.  Which, of course, is worthless at this point.  But it turn out to be something.  For a year, I'm supposed to get like 12,000 shares of common stock.  So, if it ever ends up being worth anything, that'll be a nice chunk of change.

    Anywho, I spent most of the day putting together my little presentation for my Kaplan audition.  I was sort of nervos about it, and as the day went on I was getting more and more worried that I'd make a big old fool of myself.  Dylan and I had decided to go to the same session, hoping we could sort of root for each other, as well as ask each other questions and make us look smarter.  But when we got there, it turned out there were two classes, divided by last name, so we got split up anyway. We thought we should go first and get it out of the way, and the intructor suggested the same.  I figured I'd let a guy or two go before me, to kind of get in the swing of things.  The first guy was pretty good. Basically, all we had to do was do a little demonstration, on any non-academic topic of our choice.  The first guy did How To Mow Your Lawn.  Anyway, I was getting all nervous.  The next guy who went messed up a bit and stood there silently, trying to remember his rehearsed speach.  So I thought I should go after that guy. But someone beat me to it.  Anyway, as it went on, I got more and more nervous, and ended up being the third to last to go.  My little lecture was How To Score a Game of Bolwing.  Some girl before me did How to Score a Baseball Game, and when she said those first four words I quietly shit my pants. I don't know what I woulda done if she did bolwing.  Anyway, I figured my best strategy would be to make them laugh, to show that I was comfortable enough in front of a group to engage in a little levity.  I just threw in a few things here and there, and when I got to the definition of a Turkey- three strikes in a row- I told them that at most places where they have computerized score keeping they actually show a little turkey on the screen, and that's something you'd miss out on keeping score manually. So I told them a quick fix would be to take the pencil and trace your hand and make your own little turkey, which i demonstrated on the black board.   this was even better, I said, because you could take this turkey home with you.  Plus, on the electronic boards, they sometimes show three X's to denote the three strikes.  This looks vageuly pornographic, I said, and wouldn't be suitable in a family setting.  So yes, I also got to demonstrate how very, very lame I am.
    Rodzilla had taken this audition not too long ago, and she told me that the instructor said he would talk to each person individually and let them know.  But she said what actually happened was that the instructor talked to the first person out in the hall, came back in, and said everyone else had made it.  I wished I hadn't know this, because it made me really nervous.  So my instructor called the first person out, who I thought did better than me. Then she called another person out, who I thought did relatively well. So I thought maybe it wasn't going to work how Rodzilla's did.  But after the second person, she came back in and told us congratulations, you all made it.  So we went through a little paperwork and whatnot about training, then I had to go to the bathroom. I walked by the room Dylan was in, to see if he was done, and there he was, giving his presentation.  Last. Which amused me a bit, since we both agreed on the wisdom of going first, and both waited till the end.  I was a little worried that one of us would get it and the other wouldn't.  On the way there, he'd said "I'm going to be really pissed off if you get it and I don't."  and I said the same.  I didn't know, in a guilt vs. joy way, which I would've preferred, him getting it and me not, or the other way 'round.  A moot point, since he also advanced to the next round.  Apparently he had some pretty weak people.  Rodzilla told me in hers the only person who didn't make it was a guy who could barely speak English. So I woulda felt extra stupid had I not made it.
    Afterwards, I was walking around the Kaplan center, looking into classrooms, and feeling really weird as I watched people in their classes.  They all looked really into it, and it seemed odd to me that I would be teaching them.  But I suppose I'll get over the weirdness.  What with the pretty good pay and all.
    Anyway, lots of appointments tomorrow.  Typical, that I had nothing for weeks and now everything scrunched into two days.  Always works like that, I guess.  So I'm off.
 

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