May 28th, 2001.  Monday

 
    Twas a long weekend.  Didn't go anywhere.  Literally and figuratively.

    Friday:  Went to bar with roommate Dylan.  looked around a bit.  Came home.  Stayed up late.

    Saturday:  The parents came into town.  I went with them to a restaurant in New Jersey, then to a Chinese food market.  Stocked up on foodstuffs and whatnot.  The parents came up to give me a little pep talk about the old career and job prospects. I appreciated the effort and the sentiment, but the whole thing just frustrated me and made me terribly angry and crazy. I hadn't felt that worked up since that time I put my fist through a dinner plate around Christmas 1994.  Now that was a spectacle.  Anyway, this all went down in the restaurant, so i was a bit more restrained. I felt bad about it afterwards, but at the time I just couldn't help it.  While it was happening, i thought a lot about when I'm talking to Rodzilla, and something's bothering her, and I ask her what's wrong and she says she doesn't want to talk about it. This always annoys me, or at least disappoints me. I always say, "maybe you'll just feel better if you talk about it," or "how do you know I can't help if you don't tell me what's wrong?" or something like that. And it always just annoys her more.  Well, I finally understand.  I'm really glad my parents cared, but I just didn't want to talk to them about it.  I think it really hurt their feelings, and I feel terrible about it.  It ruined the rest of my day.  The irony, of course, was that they came up to try to make me feel better, and it just gave me something else to feel shitty about.  So i shut down for a while. I came home, climbed into bed, and slept fitfully for about three hours.
    So Jed and I met James and his ladyfriend Rosario down at Great Lakes that evening. They wanted go to back to James's place and listen to music and dance and whatever, but I really wasn't in the mood.  They did their best to cheer me up and convince me to do, but in the end I just walked home.  A lonely, cold, walk, made even more cinematic by the ensuing rain.  So I got home, in about twice the usual time, and Dylan had just finished writing whatever it was he was writing, and he was like "I was hoping you guys were still down there." and i said "you want to go get a drink?"
    So we walked back down to Great Lakes.  When I was there the first time, I noticed the creepy Asian guy who I'd met there a few times before. The one who said he thought "we should talk."  So while I was sitting there, he started chatting me up again. I ignored him for the most part.  He started in with the standard questions like "where are you from?" "What do you do?"  I answered his questions politely, and asked no questions of my own.  Every moment I got, i turned away and talked to Dylan, even if I had nothing to say. For a good amount of time I just sat there going "Boo blahbahblahboo."  Anyway, after this guy, John, introduced me to his friend, he told me he did pottery and was a painter. I was like oh, what do you paint? And he laughed, and said "Oh, really twisted shit. You might've guess that already!" And I was like "Um..."  So his friend left, and John slid over a stool, so he was almost right on top of me. It made me really uncomfortable. I couldn't understand why he didn't get the hint that I didn't want to talk to him.  So he says to me "Is this your boyfriend?" talking about Dylan.  And I'm like "No. He's my roommate."  I shoulda just said he was my boyfriend. That might've ended things.  So then he said to me "Are you gay?"  And I said "No." And he said "Neither am I."  I picked up my drink, and toasted him, "Congratulations." I says. You know, me and my heterosexual friends never sit around and tell each other how not-gay we are.  We don't start conversations in bars by telling people that we're not gay.  My gay friends don't tell me how gay they are.  The sexuality thing isn't usually delved into.  So that was really, really freaking me out.  "Oh, you're not gay. uh, me either."  Come on. I don't really care if he's gay or not.  That's just a matter of curiosity.  Straight, gay- any way you slice it, this guy was creepy as all get-out.  He just would not get the hint.  Last time he spoke to me, he seemed very fixated on the Asian thing.  I mentioned this to Dylan, and sure enough this guy started in on the Asian stuff.  Dylan was like "you're very fixated on the Asian thing," and the guy, John i think, was like "well, year. We're both Asian. So i thought we should talk."  And Dylan was like "I find that offensive. Why can't he just be a person, and not some category?"  Of course, I doubt Dylan is offended by anything.  He was just trying to get rid of the guy.  It's not like we're in Nebraska in 1923.  We're in New York City.  Plenty of Asians to go around.  No need for an immediate camaraderie.  Then John said something like "It's just that when I see Greg, I feel a need to talk to him."  As every second passed, I didn't think I could get any more creeped out.  But this guy just kept raising and raising the bar.  At this point, I went to the bathroom. I couldn't take it anymore. While I was there, John was like "i don't think greg likes me."  And Dylan suggested strongly that maybe he was making the both of us very uncomfortable.  Then he was like "i know, I made a terrible first impression."  And second, and third, and fourth.  Weirdo.  So I get back from the bathroom, but I don't sit down. I'm just standing behind the two of them while they sit at the bar.  John motions to the stool, inviting me to sit, and I'm like "Nah. I was standing all day. I need to stretch." Then he's like "Man, i gotta pee.  I gotta pee so bad." And I'm like "Well, you better go take care of that." And he's like "yeah, i better. I gotta go so bad!" And dylan added "there're two bathrooms right back there," and John answered "Man I have to go. I gotta go so bad it hurts!"  And I'm like "why don't you go to the bathroom?" and he says "i probably should."  Then he just fucking sits back down!  This was the last straw.  What was he getting at? Did he want me to hold it while he went?  I didn't know what else to do.  I've never been so uncomfortable in my whole life. I didn't want to just say go away you psycho creep. But I didn't know what else to do.  I probably shoulda just left.  Anyway, the whole evening was terribly weird.  I saw this girl I'd spoken to a few times, and she looked like she was either depressed or crazy or tired or something. So I went up to her to see if she was ok, and she smiled and said "I'm going to bed. It was nice to see you dear."  Then gave me a hug and walked out.  That was very weird.  But not as weird as that creepy asian guy.

    So Sunday:  Slept till two in the afternoon, then went down to James's place, played music, listened to music, watched the rain on his roof, played some cards, and came back home.  retired for the evening.

    And Today:  Met Rodzilla for a small brunch at Cafe Orlin on St. Marks Place in the East Village.  We walked around for a bit, thinking we might see a movie.  Sat around, lamenting the fact that it was a great day to take a drive and we didn't have a car.  So we settled on renting a movie.  Her choice, the Ed Norton, Ben Stiller movie Keeping the Faith. it was allright, but it was way too long.  I've long believe that no romantic comedy should be over 100 minutes. This one was over two hours long. Too much.  But I did find that Jenna Elfman much more attractive than I ever have before.  Anyway, after that, I dragged Rodzilla up to the roof so I could hang out there and watch the sun get lower, then I came back to Brooklyn, had dinner, and went back into Manhattan to a birthday party for my friend Johanna, who I worked with at the magazine. It was at this bar in the Village that's in an old beautry salon. All the chairs are old hair stylist's and barber's chairs. Kind of cool. But I have to say, it was one of the weakest scenes I've ever seen in my whole life.  Everyone there desperately wanted to be hip, but no one there really was.  Not that I am. But I know it when I see it.  It's my job.  Jed was with me, and he said "If I could find one girl here, and look into her eyes and see that she sees her surroundins with even a small notion of irony in her eyes, I'd really like that girl."  It was pretty terrible. I really like Johanna, but there people were really, really weak.  There are a lot of bad people in Great Lakes, but this place was full of the worst kind of person you'd find in Great Lakes.  Just not real people.  At all.  And that was terribly disappointing.
    Anyway, a sort of big week for me, job-wise. We're hoping.

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