May 22th, 2001.  Tuesday

 
    So more job hunt stuff today.  But first, I tried something new today.  I was reading the classifieds in the New York Post yesterday, and there were several adds that said "fresh new faces wanted" or something.  Modeling and acting agencies and whatnot. So out of curiosity I called one up, and they said it was an open call and I cold just come in for a consultation.  So I made an appointment to go in.  I'd always been curious about how these things worked, so what did I have to lose? I've already been feeling shitty in a lot of ways, so why not get frank opinion on my looks as well, bottom out completely, and start over?  And, you know, I've modeled some in the past. Ok, sure, it was for the Washington and Lee bookstore catalog, but i think that counts.  Hey, speaking of that, here's the picture right here.   So anyway, I didn't have high hopes.  I'd done some research on SoYouWanna.com about model agencies, and they all looked pretty sketchy,  I basically figured I'd go in, they'd take a look at me, and say something like "Ok, great.  We'd like to use you.  Now we just need 500 dollars so we can put together a headshot and portfolio of you."  So knowing this, I'd decided I'd walk out at the first mention of money.
    Needless to say, I was pretty nervous when I went in.  How can you be comfortable when you're walking into someplace to be judged solely on your looks?  I sometimes feel that maybe my looks help me out in sort of a bonus way, but that's about as far as the confidence stretches.  But the people sitting around when I went in was a pretty ragtag group.  Nobody terribly attractive.  A few skinny black girls, a hispanic in big boots and baggy pants, a typically "handsome" white guy with closely cropped hair and fashionable suit.  A fairly stereotypical, unremarkable bunch.  Still, all I could think about was how the humidity in the rainy weather was adversely affecting my hair. So I sat there for about 15 minutes, and watched parts of two episodes of Friends.  Then this small Asian woman called me in. She looked exactly like the Asian woman who played Mac's wife on the tv show "Night Court," only more fashionable and not very friendly.  I suppose bullshitting people all day about how good they look would put me in a perennially bad mood too.  Anyway, it pretty much as I expected.  Except I envisioned her office having a window. It didn't.  So she took me into her little office and gave me the run down, telling me what they did, that they didn't accept everyone but those that made the cut make about 150 to 200 bucks an hour.  She asked me if I'd had any acting or modeling experience, and I told her only in college.  She took her pen and made writing-type motions, but when I looked at my application it didn't seem like she'd written anything at all.  Then she gave me a quick once over, and said, "You have a nice look. I'd like to see how you photograph." And I said "OK." And she said  "We need to take some color slides to send to agents and whatnot.  It's 12 slides, which you get to keep, for $80.  So, are you ready to start today?" and I said "Um...I'm not so sure I can do that."  She said "That's how it works."  And for some reason it seemed to make a little sense.  You gotta spend money to make money. And was 80 bucks really that much of an investment.  But then she got all pushy with the hard sell.  I told her I was looking for a job, and couldn't afford to expend any money on these sort of things, and she said "Don't you have any credit cards?" and I said "well, yeah, but they're sort of maxed-out," and she said "How much?"  and I said "Um, I'm not sure," covering my lie.  Then she said "How much money do you have on you know?" And I was like, "Um..." and she said "if you can give me half, you can get your shots today and pay the rest when you come in to review them next week.  Anyway, this went on and on.  If she'd just been like "80 bucks, take it or leave it.  If you don't want to do this, fine," I might have actually considered it. But the fact that she was so desperately trying to get any amount of money out of me made it all more apparent that it was a big scam.  Plus, if they need the slides to give to "agents" and whatnot, why do i get to keep them?  So I told her thanks, but no thanks.  Then I made an appointment for next week to come in and have my pictures taken.
    I doubt I'll go.  But there was obviously a part of me that didn't believe it was that big an expenditure, and that it'd almost be worth the risk.  Of course, everyone I've told has reacted the same way: "Um, why don't you just go get a real job."  Hey, it's not like I'm trying. Today was just a break to try something new.  And I did come home and send out four more resumes.  And I'm applying to be a Kaplan instructor.  And I'm working on becoming a substitute teacher.  Not that I have to justify myself to you.  Of course, I have another appointment at another modeling agency tomorrow.  I'd decided yesterday that I'd go to at least two, to see if they were all alike. And for me, two is a large enough sample group.  I'm taking my roommate Dylan, also unemployed.  I'd like to get his perspective on it. I'm too big a sucker. Plus, it's always funnier when someone else is along to witness life's little absurdities.

    Anyway, in other news,  my dear old friend Nora Zwehl-Burke called from Germany today. She left for London two years ago, for what was supposed to be 6 months, tops.  I've missed her immensely.  So it was great to hear from her.  She's coming back stateside in 6 days, and coming to New York toward the end of June, for an indefinite stay.  It's our job to sell her on New York so she'll stay.  I might need to move into a new place, and I could use a roommate.  I've missed that conversational niche that i have with Nora.

I'm currently listening to the new REM album, Reveal, which I downloaded about 10 minutes ago.  How I love this modern age of ours.  I haven't bought any REM since Monster in 1994, but I'd read pretty good reviews of this new one.  It's very nice that I can decide I want to hear something, and just go and download it.  Lovely.  And it's a pretty good album so far.

    Our cable has been out of service for the last two days.  I'm finding it very difficult to eat meals. I don't know what to look at.

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