May 20th, 2001.  Sunday
 

 
    It kind of upsets me that I get Sunday night anxiety when I don't have a job or school to go to on Monday morning.  I guess that's the cause of the anxiety.  Not having anything to do.  Anyway, what's been going on?

    James' friend Marta and her friend Maria were in town this weekend.  Met them on Thursday night down on 5th Ave, had a few drinks, etc.  Nice folks.  Saw lotsa pictures of James' trip when he was out in Montana after graduation.  Made me want to drive around out west even more.  I thought I had some sort of panic attack on Thursday afternoon.  I was over at Rodzilla's printing out a cover letter, and I just got all panicky, like I wasn't doing enough to find a job.  It's been very frustrating.  So on friday, I just made a list of things I needed to do, took care of everything on the list, and felt ok for the rest of the day.  I've just got to keep setting little goals every day.  it's these stupid little motivational things I have to do to keep myself going and sane and hopeful.  Once I start to slow down, I really start to slow down.  I just wish some of these efforts would start to pay off.
    So on friday, after doing what I had to do, I took some coffee at Cafe Pick Me Up, came home, and finished the Flash animation I was working on for the old webpage.  It wasn't as hard as I thought it'd be. it was sort of tedious, but it made me feel better to accomplish something with tangible and satisfying results.  Anyway, soon after that, Matt came over and Jed came home. We sat around for a while- a long while, actually- then went into the city.  we were meeting James and his posse at a bar on 7B that we call "7B." It has a name like the Horseshoe bar, but 7B is much easier.  Anyway, i took a little detour and met Rodzilla at Cafe Pick Me Up.  She seemed to be a bit down.  We talked a bit about this and that.  I felt a bit uneasy for good parts of the encounter. But it was generally pleasant.  Although at one point I had some sort of freakout and had to run out of the coffee shop. Not sure why. I came back shortly after.  Anyway, we had another of our little conversations, then I walked her home, and met up with the gang at 7B.  James and his friends were there, along with his girlfriend Rosario. I'd never spent a lot of time observing James and his lady friend.  They go really well together. Cute, I daresay.  Marta, her friend Maria, and I decided to get our pictures taken in a little photo booth they had there.  There were four pictures, so we decided beforehand on our four poses.  I suggested angry, pouty, mysterious, and sexy.  My "angry" and "sexy" pictures look disturbingly similar.  Anyway, after we got back to the table, someone was sitting in matt's seat.  I didn't pay much attention, since that inevitably happens in bars on Friday nights.  But then Jen informed me that sitting at the end of the table, 3 seats away, was David Cross, of the HBO show "Mr. Show with Bob and Dave."  We're huge fans.  And sitting right next to me was Janeane Garafalo.  So that was sort of interesting.  She was sitting on matt's jacket, so he took that opportunity to insert himself into their conversation as we were on our way out.  but really, to pay homage to David Cross.  That was pretty much the evening. Hit a few  more bars, and went home.

    So yesterday, James played a show at Galapagos, a bar in Williamsburg.  Williamsburg has a reputation for being horribly trendy, but my previous experiences with the area didn't really confirm that.  But the Bedford area did that in a big bad way.  Talk about uber-trendy.  Lotsa glamorous people about.  We were particularly enamored with the waitress at the bar.  Anyway, the show featured a lot of Christian themed bands.  And I wasn't too happy about paying 8 bucks to get into the performance section, which was a separate are from the main bar.  Though when I got in, Marta informed me that there was free corn on the cob and bread.  With butter.  We like butter. So I took advantage of that.  Later, Matt and I were sort of hungry, so we grabbed a loaf of bread. The sign said it had a "secret Amish surprise in the middle."  I thought it'd be molasses or some shit.  We didn't see anything, then toward the end of the loaf matt pulled something out of his mouth. it was a little paper pouch, and inside was a rolled up piece of burlap or something. It took us a while to figure out what it was.  Finally, we figured it out, and unrolled it. i thought it was like a bookmark or something.  which it was, but on it, there was a stitching sewn on.  It read "DEUTERONOMY 13:3."  We both screamed and let it fall to the floor.  random religious things freak us out, prone as we are to sin.  Anyway, we stood there sort of amazed for a while.  Matt looked over at the table, where some Asian women was showing this guy a book she had behind the table, and Matt said "Look, she's getting his number."  I said "I think it's some religious thing."  Later, when we were telling James about the scroll, he told us he had also gotten one that said "PSALM 11:7" and that it had something to do with justice. We were like "You know that off the top of your head?"  And he was like, no, the women showed me her bible.  James was appalled when I told him that Matt thought that guy was trying to pick up the Asian girl, when what he was doing was looking up his little scripture.  Anyway, we spent the rest of the evening in the bar, ogling the waitress and various other beautiful women and making fools of ourselves.  Some more than others.

    Also talked to Rachel for a little bit yesterday. I really miss that girl.

    then today.  Went up to the park for a bit and threw the frisbee with Matt, then drove to the gym in Manhattan.  Then home.  And now here.  Moved Jen's computer here for the summer. She's leaving for Florida for the summer on Tuesday.  She's staying out here tonight.  Always nice to have company.  We're currently listening to the new Bonnie Prince Billie (aka Will Oldham) cd.  it's been bringing me much joy for the past few days.  Just beautiful.  I highly recommend it.  but when did you ever listen to anything I said, you ungrateful bastard?  That's what I thought.

    I've been feeling pretty poopy all day, but I'm feeling a bit better just now.  In case you were wondering about my mood and general disposition.

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