February 15th, 2001.  Thursday
 
 

    I was on the subway going to work today, when this confused Asian women said to me "Ni shou zhongwen, ma?"  asking me if I spoke Chinese.  I told her a spoke a little bit.  She was trying to figure out where she was, and how to get to the 7 train.  I tried my best to tell her where we were and where we were headed next, but it was all sort of clumsy and awkward.  I mostly gestured and pointed, only occasionally talking to her in actual Chinese.  the sad thing is, I think the instructions I gave her weren't the easiest for her, but were the easiest for me to say in Chinese.  After I told her to go to transer for the L at 14th St., then go to Union Square and transfer to the 6, I sort of thought it might just be easier to go to 42nd st. and walk directly to the 7th.  But I couldn't figure out how to say it. So when we got to 14th st., I told her to go upstairs and catch the L.  I walked her upstairs and pointed in the right direction, and told her to "walk that way and take a left" in Chinese, which was about the most complex sentence I could muster.  It was really the most Chinese I'd been forced to use since I taught kindergarden to a bunch of foreign kids in the fall of 1998.  Afterwards, I felt bad, both for my sort of complicating her trip, and for my lack of speaking ability.  I mean, sure, I helped her out, but if I knew what I was doing linguistically, i could've made it a lot easier for her, and just made her feel more comfortable.  But instead I mumbled and pointed and gestured like some dimwitted neanderthal.  I've been thinking lately I should start studying Chinese again, and this shameful incident just adds to that desire.  I'm not sure where to start though. I think my brother Garrick has been getting a lot of DVDs of familiar movies that have Chinese language tracks, and watching them in Chinese.  I guess if you know the dialogue already, it'd be a good way to learn the conversational nuances I'm sorely lacking.  Anyway...

    I had lunch with James today.  I've been having a monetary crisis, so I really didn't want to go out for lunch. But I kind of wanted to see James.  So we ate at the pizza place we've eaten at several times. I told him I'd had a few dreams recently that related to him.  The first was a few nights ago, and I dreamt he'd shaved his beard.  But he'd let it grow back for a few days, so his face was all scruffy. Anyway, the weird thing was that his face was all fact, and he had this huge double chin.  So in my dream I figured, that's what he wore a beard, to cover his fat face.  Very bizarre.  Anyway, last night I had this dream where I had to write a song, for work I think. All I remember was that I was under a lot of pressure to get this song done, and I couldn't do it.  I think I woke up in the middle of the night and was sort of delerious and slepy fitfully because I thought I really had to get this song done.  I just remember that in the dream I had all the lyrics done, but I couldn't think of any music.  So I was just planning on ripping off a tune from one of James' older songs.  Then I woke up. For some reason, i think I was standing at a urinal or at least in a bathroom while I thought this.  It was really weird. Especially about the song, because whenever I try to write songs, it's always the music that's the easy part. I always have trouble finding words that I'm happy with and that don't sound cheesy or whatever.

    Anyway, the most notable thing about lunch today was my beverage.  I got a lemon ice tea Snapple. I took the plastic off the lid, and unscrewed the cap, and then, silence.  I was startled that the safetly lid did not pop up.  You know, the thing that's supposed to ensure that your beverage has not been tampered with?  It didn't pop up. There's even a note on the cap telling you that the cap is supposed to pop up. So ever sip of the drink sort of worried  me.  But I was really thirsty, so I just drank it after 5 minutes went by and nothing happened.  Althought tonight, I've been having these sharp pains in my chest and abdomen. though I suppose it could just be gas.  Let's hope so.

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