I'm really pissed off.

    I had a sort of interesting entry planned for today, about a party thrown by the magazine I work for.  But that has to wait now.  The bigger news is that today I was robbed for the first time, at knife point.  Katey, Kathy and I were walking into Caryn's apartment, when two guys were coming down the steps.  Seeing as how people come down steps all the time, i didn't think anything of it.  Until one guy stopped two steps up from us between floors and whipped out a huge knife.  Then the other guy moved behind me.  One guy said "Give us all your money."  Shocked, Katey just said "What!?"  It was a sort of shock I'd never experienced.  I couldn't really believe this was happening, especially in the stairwell of Caryn's apartment, where I'd been so many times. I think I was really just in shock.  But a lazy sort of shock, not an adrenaline rush kind. That came later.  So while I stood there, the other guy took the opportunity to put a knife to my neck and told Kathy to give him all her money.  "You don't want to see your friend here get cut, do you?" is what I believe he said. I certainly didn't want to see her friend get cut.  Meanwhile, Katey produced exactly two dollars for her assailant, still on the steps. I think the guy behind me was the one in charge.  I think Katey could've probably taken the littler fella in front of her with a swift kick to the balls.  Too bad the other guy was holding me.
    The whole thing didn't really register with me, and I just stood there, sort of stalling I guess, hoping that they'd just take Kathy and Katey's money and take off. But, no, they were quite patient, especially when they produced a combined 17 dollars, and asked "What the fuck are you waiting for?"  So I started fumbling around in my front pockets, and kind of silently shrugged that they were empty. "Why're you reaching in there? Give me your fucking money. All of it." It didn't get really real until he started pushing the serrated blade a bit harder into my neck.  He switched sides a few times I think to give Kathy, who was down a few steps, a better view. I can still sort of feel it.  Anyway, so finally, I reached for my wallet.  Did I mention that I had just gone to the ATM 5 hours earlier?  So today I bought what amounted to a hundred dollar pastrami and cheese, because the fucks took all my remaining 90 dollars. And there was really now way I could hide any of it.  The bastards at the Upper East Side deli gave me 15 bucks in singles today, plus I had 4 more twenties in my wallet, so basically to the thieves my wallet was just exploding with money.  So I grabbed it all, along with a few bank statements, and handed it over, and put my wallet back my pocket.  They didn't ask for anything else.  Just the money, which I gave. He had course, dirty hands.
    I was more shocked than frightened for the most part.  Right after I gave him the money, though, was the only time I was really scared.  Just for a few seconds.  I thought "ok, I just gave him all the money. There's a few ways this is could to end."  I was imagining the blade just ramming into my stomach.  I figured, he's got the money, now he just has to off the witnesses.  I think that was the first time I ever thought there was even the slightest chance that someone might try to kill me, or seriously wound me.  it was a very nervous 5 seconds before they said "Walk up," instructing us to walk up the stairs while they exited.  and of course they were like "don't call the police or else."  So after they were a flight down I called 911 on my cell phone.  A small consolation to this terrible experience is that I've been wondering who picks up when you dial 911 from a cell phone.  well, tonight I got to find that out.  Anyway, a New York operator picked up, and I told them I had just been robbed, gave them the address, and went into Caryn's apartment.  She was just on her way down to look for us, after buzzing us in 5 minutes before and wondering where the hell we were.  I wonder what would've happened if she walked into that.  Anyway, she couldn't believe it.  Around that time is when I started sort of hyperventilating and the adrenaline kicked in.  Not pleasant. I was more pissed off than anything, and a million thoughts of brutal retribution went through my head in about 3 seconds.  Anyway, The police got there surprisingly fast, no more than 5 minutes.    Pretty soon there were about 8 cops in her tiny apartment.  Apparently, they'd spent the previous night on similar calls.  So hopefully the same guys will try it again and get caught.  And I wouldn't mind at all if the NYPD just beat the crap outta them.  But to tell you the truth, these were the nicest, and funniest, cops I've ever met.  After getting some general info on the robbery, they took us down to the police station.  One of them was asking Caryn and me about what we studied and if it had anything to do with what we were doing now, and was sort of giving us shit for it.  Another guy was like "Oh yeah, I went to NYU right after highschool- New York Unemployment!"  On the way back, the four of us were piled into the back of one of their cars, and we were stuck behind someone on 7th ave holding up traffic.  We were laughing about how nice it was to be in a car where you could do something about traffic for a change, and one of the cops said "One of you should jump out and knock on the window and say "get the fuck out of the way, asshole!"  So they were in sort of good humor. Though they did their jobs quickly and well.  I think they were excited about the prospect of catching the guys they had spent the whole previous night looking for.  So I was sort of impressed with the urgency with which they handled the situation.
    Here're some other thoughts-  when they were asking for descriptions of the thieves, I was completely useless.  All three of us were pretty much focused on the 6-inch blades the guys were carrying, but at least Katey and Kathy had some idea what they looked like.  I couldn't have even told them it was one black guy and one hispanic guy.  Although the black guy talked in that real tough guy way. You know, like he's talking out the front of his mouth, so the "f" in "Fucking money" is really accentuated.  but besides that, I couldn't believe how little I saw and remembered.  The irony is of course that the three of us were coming from an NYU graduation sort of party.  We were all, at one time, part of the curriculum that's basically about studying a particular setting or surrounding environment and picking up all the nuances and reporting on them.  And I couldn't even remember that the guy was wearing a hat.  Completely, utterly useless.
    I do remember that the knife was a lock blade knife.  I've had enough friends and brothers with knife fascinations to know the sound of a blade clicking into the lock.  Another thing is, I really wonder what they would have done if we'd resisted more.  I don't think they would've left three dead bodies in the stairwell.  I fantasized briefly, very briefly, about trying something while they were mugging us.  but then I thought "If, in 15 seconds, I'm lying right here, bleeding to death in a pool of my own blood, I'd pay a hell of a whole lot more than 90 dollars to stop this whole mess."  So of course, we did the right thing and gave them all our cash. It's just the 90 dollars really stings, especially since I just went to the ATM today.  Fucking sucks.
    Katey in particular was very disappointed in our assailants' qualities as crooks, and repeatedly told the cops so.  She thought they were a bit lackadaisical, and not very spirited.  That's what she's most pissed off about. Of course, she lost two whole dollars.  I told Jen, and she said that those creeps were probably saying to each other "Thank god for that Asian guy, or we would've wasted our time."  I'm also surprised that they didn't ask for anything else like cell phones or credit cards or just go through all our shit.  It just pisses me off, that they got into the building somehow and were probably waiting for the perfect target.  Caryn had gotten home about 5 minutes before we got there, and she didn't see anybody. So now I'm wondering if they know someone in the building.  And a well-dressed Asian guy seems a pretty good target.  I still can't get over my initial shock.  A completely new feeling.  I've never witnessed that kind of hostility, ever.  Maybe I've led a sheltered life.
    Of course, I was a bit nervous walking back out of caryn's building. I suggested we just sprint down the stairs so no one could stop us, but they wouldn't have anything to do with that. I thought about taking Caryn's pizza slicer with us as a precaution, but I'd never use a weapon on anybody anyway.  And you shouldn't pull a weapon unless you're prepared to use it.  This is no way to live, in fear.  But i've never been so threatened or violated.  This is so much worse than my car getting stolen.  So much more personal.
    So in sum, besides being robbed today, my car was stolen not long ago, and recovered in an undrivable state.  And, oh yeah, I had to go to the Bronx today for Parks.  I lost my gloves up there.  NOT a good day for me.  But I guess I should just be really thankful that no one was hurt and we can sit around and joke and bitch about it.  And really I am.

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