11.02.00
Thursday

 

    I've been trying to write this entry for days now.  but several things got in the way.  Life, and to a greater extent, TV.  I tried to write yesterday, and actually started, but then the Simpsons came on, and then When Harry Met Sally came on.  Then Jen came over to do a psychological test on my roommate Josh.  Then we watched Rushmore.  Then we went to sleep.  So nothing really got done.  But I'm still not sure what to do with the little bit I wrote.  It's about how I ended up in New York, why I first decided to come here, and why.  Someday later, maybe.

    Anyway, the other reason I haven't been able to write this is because I don't know what I want to write.  Life-changing things have happened in the past few days. Halloween was particularly tough. Great, now Halloween will always be equated with negativity.  Anyway, I guess I don't feel like writing about the most private part of my private life. Because it doesn't involve just me.    But of course, it goes without saying that I was overcome with sadness, the sort of which i hadn't ever felt before.  But I'll probably risk it again.

So... on with the account of the rest of my life.

    Anyway, on a happier note, I've finally managed to get something published on the web that was published by someone other than me.  if you go to Insound.com sometime in the near future, you'll find an article written by me, in the InsoundOff section.  They titled it, "Compelling Trends: An Election's Effect on  Music."  I didn't even know they posted it.  Caryn saw it and called me. I was waiting for an email response or something, but they just up and posted it.  So I was glad to see that. It's nice to see yourself in print on a page littered with ads and sales pitches. I feel so legit.  And I must thank caryn for helping to edit it, and for suggesting I send it to insound.  So I just did.  So if you're interested in that sort of thing, or care to compare my journal writing from my more "professional" writing, stop on by.  and comment in their forum. and praise me, even though I'm sure 90% of the people who read it will think I'm a lunatic, because the article is telling you to vote for George Bush.  But oh well.
 
    I had this weird dream last night.  I was hanging out with Jen, and things were allright, but then all of a sudden she started telling me that she didn't want to see me anymore, that we've been hanging out too much.  It was all very disconcerting, especially since we've been spending so much time together in real life.  I've enjoyed spending the time with jen though. I've really needed it, to tell you the truth.  I stayed at her place on Halloween. It was surprisingly comfortable, but I had to walk home practically blind the next morning, because I had to throw out my contacts or sleep with them in.  Anyway, nothing's going on, and I'm not trying to imply that it is. But it's nice to have friends and to talk to somebody as you fall asleep.

    You know, I had big hopes for this entry, but that was days ago.  Now I just want to finish it.  Jen was complaining how I always get lazy at the beginning of each new month, and how it's days before I actually get around to fixing up the page and writing something.  So I just want to get all that jazz out of the way. Though I am sort of disappointed that I couldn't write what I was feeling on Halloween or the day after.  But I'm not sure what I would have written.  I'm certainly chock full of all sorts of Aggravations and Regrets, and a lot of other things.  I was, and still am, completely overcome with a dozen different and conflicting feelings.  So it may have helped if I could've written about them, to sort that out.  But I suppose time will do that for me.
I think I'm kidding myself, by the way.
About what though, I'm not sure.  Just got that feeling.
 
 

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