October 23, 2000.  Friday.
 
 

    I haven't written from NYU is several months now.  But my phone was disconnected recently, thus making an internet connection sort of impossible. Though it would make a good commercial for a DSL or cable modem company.  Anyway, things are still all mixed up.  Everything.  Work, play, it's all all over the place.  It's the balancing act again.
    Jesus Christ. Are you listening to me? Do I  listen to me?  What the hell am I talking about?  I really do feel like I'm pigeon-holed in this "web"  version of myself, like all I've been doing is living up to some caricature of myself.    I don't know, dude.  It's like what I'm saying is the truth, but something feels off about it.  Like it's too damn stylized or something. Like I'm just shoving feelings into this template and pressing out the appropriate words.  It's horribly frustrating, and I really think I should stop here until I can figure out what I want to write and how to write it.

    Of course, I can't just stop here.  I at least need to make a little reference point for myself for the future.  You may recall that my entry abouyt last weekend ended by saying something like "As for friday: it was fun, then weird, then fun, then exciting, then weird, then terribly familiar, then exhausting."  You could probably say that about this weekend was well.  With a few changes here and there.

    My biggest problem is that anything I don't write today and write about tomorrow will seem like more of an event.  If I just wrote about something today, it's just part of the weekend in review. If I write about it tomorrow, it's something noteworthy that I forgot or didn't mention in today's entry.  So, goddam it, here's the weekend in review:
    Friday-  Walked with my Parks boss Kate over toward Jen's place on the Upper West.  Pleasant enough.  Got to Jen's, greeted her, she told me about her night.  Pleasant enough.  Kate called, and we met her and another girl from work at the restaurant known as River on 77th and Amersterdam.  Thai and Vietnamese food. Not too bad.  Then went down to the Lower East Side, looking for Jed and James.  Of course, it turns out that that would be the one night James wasn't on the Lower East, but somewere toward Soho I think.  But we did run into Caryn and Nate on Ludlow St.  Greeted them briefly, then off to a bar on Rivington called Welcome to the Johnsons. The whole place is decked out to look like a living room.  Lots of family protraits and sofas.  Eventually Jed, sans James, showed up. He had made name tags for everybody, based on an episode of Family Ties.  Mine said "I know how to itemize deductions."  Caryn and Nate and Caryn's whole posse also showed up, before Jed actually.  So just about everyone I knew in New York just showed up at this bar I'd never been to.  Anyway, it was sort of fun, but sort of fucked up.  At the same time, it made me pretty happy.  In an enlightening kind of way. Not quite enlightening, actually, but more along the lines of that good old contentedness that I've been feeling for quite some time now.  You know, the ambivalent, ambigous sort of content.
    Saturday-  Made plans to spend the day with Rodzilla, and carried out those plans.  Gracious enough to let me do my laundry at her place, with the requisite look I hadn't seen in a while, then we went up to Central Park.  Took us a while to get there, and we stopped for a sandwhich first. I had an egg salad on white, extra mayo.  She had a grilled chicken.  Too much chicken, she said.  Then we went over to the Park. We swung by the Arsenal, where I work, because I wanted her to see it and the zoo and all that cool stuff I see when I'm there, and also because it's really my only point of reference on the eastern side of Central Park.  We walked over to the Lawn where I'm fond of lying down, and we laid down for a while. I beautiful day.  We saw some Asian guy who went to Washington and Lee, and chatted with him politely for a few minutes.  He's also at NYU, as was the girl he was with.  So we sat there for a while, chatted, watched some kids play. Some dad was trying to teach his daughter how to throw and catch a frisbee.  He seemed like a pretty good dad.  That was nice to see.
    So after the park, we went down to Union Square. I bought some shoes, ending my two-month shoe search. Then we saw the movie The Contender.  It was pretty good, and it made a good point, but it could have been better, though I'm not sure how.  It was a bit too skewed to the left and a bit heavy handed.  And I was somehow disappointed with the ending.  But overall, it was enjoyable and interesting.  I could probably have a conversation around it.
    Then a nice dinner.  And then a drink at the Sidewalk on 6th st.  A pleasant evening. The weather was nice. A bit chilly, but in a good autumn-in-new-york way.
    Anyhow, I'm meeting brother Geoff in Midtown for dinner, so I will end this now.

Mail to G-Rock

DA&R home
Past Aggravations and Regrets
previous |  next
South Pole Home
 

©2000 ThreeMatchBreeze