I talked to my childhood friend Doug Connolly right after I wrote the last entry. That was about an hour ago. But I thought I'd start the new day's entry now.  The last was short and sweet, and I didn't want to ruin my idea of it.

Abot doug:
    I love that guy.  he's the only guy that I can really, truly be unabashedly honest to, with absolutely no qualification to anything I'm saying. He just knows. He knows me well enough to ask me a serious question and follow it with "...and I'm hoping for an answer with absolutely no sarcasm."  My first defense mechanism, he knows.  But he also knows me well enough that he only has to ask once.  If somebody wants me to be serious, that's exactly what they'll get. I have high walls around me, but once they come down, they're pretty much down to stay.
    I haven't seen Doug in four years, almost to the day, and I miss him.  I've known him for almost 15 years now, and I probably haven't seen him more than 40 days total out of the last 11 years.  I talk to him about once every four months, usually when I'm either feeling down and need to connect to something I know is absolutely, unequivocally permanent, or when i just miss the guy.  A bit of both tonight. No matter how long it is between conversations with him, and regardless if I can remember the details of his life like his girlfriend's name or something, it's always so goddam refreshingly familiar.  Like I'm talking back to a time before I was me.   Almost everytime I talk to him, I end up writing down something he says.  Tomorrow, actually today, is his 25th Bithday. So happy birthday, big guy.  I remember how old I thought he was when I was nine and he turned 10.    He was telling me about life in Austin, TX. I really gotta get down there.  After talking for about an hour, I was telling him how I missed talking to him, and that we should talk more often.  He said "well, we're pretty much living the same life." And we kind of are.  But he thinks he's about two weeks ahead of me.  I said, "well, make sure to call me and tell me what happens."  He said "Well, in about two weeks, you'll be eating ice cream and talking to an old friend." I'm not sure why, but that alone made me feel really good about the world.  I think it was the "old friend" part. that made me feel really ok about getting older.  I've never really thought about it, but he really is my oldest friend, and in a lot of ways, my most valued.

    Doug is a nice Catholic boy, and he really makes me question my own spirituality.  Big talk tonight about the difference between religion and spirituality.  I would say that I'm not really religious at all, but I'm very spiritual.  He started talking to me about Jesus and how it's easier to accept the idea of something called "god" than to accept the truth of Jesus, to accept an act and person of god rather than an idea.  He said that's the difference between "god" and "God."  I told him i just couldn't buy it, not all of me anyway. I told him I guess I'm afraid really, of believing in the wrong thing. I hate closing off any avenues, and I wouldn't want to stand there on Judegement Day and be told that I was believing the wrong thing.  But he said he didn't believe that ignorance was a cause for damnation.  It's nice to hear the sentiment, but it's something we'll probably never see eye to eye on.  But I'm glad that we can disagree so much on something that means so much, and respect that difference.  It's not like I'm gonna stop talking to the guy.  Anyway, the conversation wasn't all that heavy, just a friendly exchange of ideas.  He's just about the only guy who can get me to really listen and talk calmy about religion. I guess it's our history, and the way he puts things.  He's absolutely uncompromising in his views, but with him that never bothers me in the slightest.   He goes to regular Bible study classes, and I respect that-- and him-- enough to go back and capitalize "Jesus" and "Bible," which I didn't do originally.
 
 
 

    So moving along to something else entirely...
    Ever wonderd about my family?  Here, in its entirety, is an email I just got from my older brother Garrick:

Hey. You know how as kids we were trained to pee before we got in the
shower? Do you still so that? I can't get near a shower without feeling like I have
to piss first.

Just wondering.

-Garrick
 
 

and from Geoff:
 
 

greg,
just thought you might like to know your horoscope for
today:

"you keep moving to accomplish something but have made
little progress."

also, that the boys from nelson, matthew and gunnar,
are 33 years young today.

geoff
 

So that's where I'm coming from.  Does that explain anything?  Or too much?
 
 
 
 
 
 

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