Just cos I'm thinking of it, here is a comprehensive list of nicknames and various terms of endearment for a random list of people:
Mobrien, Mzno, demon boy, murphmonster, jenny money, murph, murph dawg,  J-dawg, J-train- J-dragon, J-Monster, Jimmy, Jimmylos, monkey, chowmonkey, stinkypants, boss, beatch, chief, boss Vic Koss,
 

    Anyhow, today I went shopping with my borther geoff and his little hussy Elizabeth. Okay, she's not a hussy.  Just wanted to use the term. She's very nice. Really.  Anyway, it was only marginally successful.  More of a fact finding misison, really.  But it was interesting.  Rodzilla used to say that she would often think that Geoff was older than me.  And today he said he thought the same.  I suppose it has to do with repsonsibilty and whatnot.  And the fact that I have no style.  Anyway, I can't find pants.  I can, but nothing that really floats my boat. And I always need someone there for a second opinion, cos I don't really know what I'm doing. I'm looking for a new look, but not really new. Just a bit off-center, I guess. I don't know why this concerns me like it does. I suppose I've been feeling like a scrub lately.
I don't want no scrub. You want a scrub?

Anyway, I noticed today that I have a tendecy to say things out loud, just in passing, things that I'd been thinking but never reallty thought. Just sort of the voicing a subconscious feeling.  It's a bit disconcerting, that I have these feelings and thoughts but don't really recognize them as true until I just sort of mention them casually without thinking of them.

    I was hanging out at Great Lakes tonight, and pfc Kathy showed up to keep me company.  It was sort of empty when I got there, but by the time I left it was starting to get packed.  I've never really hung out there on a late sunday night, so that was a weird phenomena.  The bartender, Ray, gave me a few free drinks for going to get cigarettes for him.  It's probably my favorite bar in the world.  Good music, nice people.  And the bartenders there usually buy you a drink after two or three.  I hadn't really hung out with Kathy since she'd been back in NY, about two weeks.  She's a sweet girl.  We talked a bit about my journal.  She says she has a weird relationship with it, like it exists outside of my relationship with her.  She's sort of upset that I make her such a flat character, and thinks she comes off as some sort of floozy.  It's tough not to do that sometimes, since she and Jed are doing stuff.  But I recall back in Novermber or so writing about her with a lot of sensitivity and introspection. Back in the day.  She also said she gets perturbed by my typos and spelling errors, especially when I type "Jed" instead of "Jen," and vice versa.  I suddenly heard, "******, you have to edit!" in my head.   I know, I know.  I'm getting better though, I think.

    My current crisis:  I need to come up with an idea. Or ideas, ideally.  My boss at the magazine told me on Thursday that ideas for the February issue are due on Wednesday. And right now, I got nothing.  What kind of ideas am I supposed to come up for a men's magazine that targets 18-35 year-olds?  But I need to think up something good, quick.  What I do know right now is, I can't squander my time at this magazine.  And I think there may be a good chance that I may actually be able to write something for them too. At least, that's what somebody told me the other day.   So I really, really need to think of something to write. So if anyboday has any super ideas, or even halfway decent, how about emailing me, huh?  Or just email me anyway. I'll write ya back.  The prospect of actually having something published is exciting.  It's sort of pathetic how much of a kick I got out of seeing my name in the masthead of the November issue.  Sure, it's listed under the interns, but hey, it's a start.  It's a nationally, or probably internationally, published magazine, so that's a boost.  It's a small operation, so I think I'll be able to do a lot of different things.  the other day I had to set up and switch a coupla computers around.  At least I can feel more legit for putting on my resume that I worked at the NYU computer helpdesk.  Still, I'm a little terrified of sitting in the editorial meeting and pitching my ideas.  I still don't know what the process is, so I don't really know what I'm worrying about.  But hey, I'm naturally shy, so I just have these worries anway.  It's exciting though, even if I embarass myself and sound like an idiot. Something new.  I really don't want to sound like an idiot though.  Normally, i wouldn't care all that much, but I just don't want to set some sort of precedent of idiocy.  I'm not really trying to impress people, but I don't want them to think I can't come up with anything interesting. Anyway, we'll see.  It's nice to have something to look forward to and/ or dread.  Let's ya know yer alive, you know?

    Anyway, I'm supposed to write an "intellectual biography" of myself for class tomorrow.  I think the idea is something like you have to know who you are and where you're coming from before you can write about anything else.  I need to list my interests, my influences, and my obsessions.  Somebody was telling me that all writers have obsessions, but I'm not sure what mine is. the only thing I said in class was that I was sort of obsessed with obsessive people.  People laughed. I'm glad I'm picking up my clown-act where it left off last year.  But it's true. I find obsessive people pretty interesting.  So I suppose I should get a move on that, being that it's due in 10 hours and all.  I suppose I could lift it offa my bio page in this journal, but what the hell, I'm feeling saucy...
 

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