Daily Aggravations and Regrets

 September 12, 2000 
Tuesday

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Southpole
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     There don't appear to be enough hours in the for me these days.  I don't have time to do everything I really need/want to do.  Somewhere in the top3 on this list is to sleep ten hours one of these nights.  But we're not optimistic.  I have to be up in 9 hours, after all.  So let's see, what did I do today?  Let's start from the beginning.

    I woke up late, but made it to work on time.  Didn't really have anything to do.  My immediate superior wasn't there till almost noon, so another intern and I sat there and talked a bit.  A hate the question "So what kind of music do you like." I'm not sure why. But I always feel like I'm being asked for my cool credentials.  And i hate saying shit like "indie rock" or whatever.  So I just say rock n' roll.  Then of course they ask for bands, and I'm required to list em off.  Anyway, besides that, he seemed like a nice dude. the other intern I met the other day did the same thing, by the way. 

    During my lunch break, I stopped by this palm reader on 14th st.  I had thought about going for a little while, just for kicks.  And I wanted to ask her what I should have for lunch, since I didn't have any idea and didn't have a lot of money.  She wasn't particularly insightful in this matter.  She wasn't particularly insightful into much, really.  She spent 75% of the time giving me the usual vague, generalized answers, like "Hmmm... this line is telling me you will have a long life.  And i see you were born a leader, not a follower.  You are a very caring person, and you are more of a giver than a taker. "  Sure, I'd like to think that all that's true, but I doubt it.  Although maybe I was born a leader, but was bred a follower.  I think so.  My astroligical chart also says that I should be a leader.  Must be that middle child thing.  And I use to think I gave more than I took, but now I'm not so sure. It's odd that I ever thought that, really, since i've long thought there's no such thing as a purely selfless act.  I could go on, but I won't.  Oh yeah, she also said I was very understanding, but at times I could be really stubborn and hot-headed. The first thing I thought of was a heated game of Scrabble I had in July.  The 20th, I think.  I believe "exasperating" was the word. Not in the scrabble game, but used to describe me. 

    Anyway, the woman wasn't anywhere near as good as the last one I went to.  Quite an accomplishment, since this woman had no distracting little idiosychosies, like scratching her pits with her free hand while holding my palm in the other.  But she didn't seem very good.  And I was kind of put off by what she could "read" in my palm, like how successfuly I would be in work or relationships and what have you.  At least the other woman told me she read the eyes more than the palm. She was sort of honest.  But this woman just held my palm awkwardly and kind of half-assed it.  And it felt even more like a sham (emphasis on "more") when at the end she asked me if I wanted to or could afford to buy some sort of "positive energy" metals or stones or jewels or whatever. I said thanks but no thanks. 

    However, it's not because I don't believe in all that stuff. I kind of do.  On my wrist right now, in fact, is a bracelet given to me that was "blessed" or something by some Buddhist nun.  It's supposed to be good luck  Or, more precisely, protect you from danger. Cos god knows it wasn't good luck in Atlantic City.  But as far as danger, so far, so good.  I put it on a year ago, and nothing really bad has happened, so now I'm afraid to take it off.  Here's something else (cue Unsolved Mysteries music): Geoff, my younger brother, never wears it. I spoke with my mom today, and she told me that Geoff's job was sending him to Minneapolis.  His car was late, so the driver rushed like crazy to the airport.  On one of the bridges, the car went out of control or something, and a big van or truck went slamming into the car.  I think the driver may have been injured. Isn't it horrible that I can't recount this story? loses all the drama. But I was cooking at the time i was hearing it.  Anyhow, the point is, there could have been several serious injuries.  Geoff called my mom and told her, and also told her that he for some reason put on the some bracelet I was given but that he never wears.  My mom was sort of impressed with this.  She's always telling me this stuff is real.  So the fact that Geoff put this thing on last night and escaped unscathed from a car accident today kind of reinforces all that.   Geoff called me today, and he didn't even mention it.  He called to ask me to buy him fucking tickets for the Flaming Lips at Irving Plaza. 

    Back to work related things, the non-paying internship is starting to sort of show benefits.  The magazine I work for is having it's 2-year anniversary tomorrow night, at a club on 13th st. called Spa.  It should be sort of swanky I think. Or at least a little fun.  Of course, I actually have to help out and work the door for an hour or so, but after that i can go join the party.  I have to work the door and check which people are on the checklist and who aren't.  There should be some famous people, I think. Or I was told.  I really want some celebrity to come up and stop them and be all "And you are...?"  That's how cool I am.  Anyway, the weird thing is that they told me even if someone isn't on the guestlist, just take their name and let them in anyway.  So if anyone's in New York tomorrow, it's at 76 E. 13th st.  I'll be at the door in a black t-shirt.  So, actually, i guess i could haev gone to the party without even working there for free.  Crap.  But I'm still kind of looking forward to it.  It sounds really interesting.  I'm gonna try to sneak my camera in, like a big dork.  Cos that's what I do!

    Finally, an email I received today that made me chuckle.  And it's so nice to get new sources of email.  I haven't had a new regular emailer in a while, almost a year I guess.  This one comes from a girl that I worked with this summer.  A nice, pleasant gal.   I quoted one of her emails back in July, actually.  She's entering her sophmore year at Princeton.  Listening and reading about her concerns and cares really makes me feel fucking old.  But it's nice to get such a fresh perspective.  Here's a little passage about her dilemma about a boy she likes.  I guess I'll change the names a bit, for her sake, and just for fun. 
 
 
 
 

It turns out that guy #1 whom I was pathetically smitten with from sort of afar for most of last year before i gave up on men broke up with his long distance girlfriend in the spring.  (that was a run on sentance). but now my friend has made friends with this girl that for some random reason i have a HUGE inferiority complex about.  beautiful girl, popular, very social and easy to talk to...  anyway, she lived on his hall last year (it ate me up inside) and she told my friend that she  has an enourmous thing for Rusty.  whenever i like someone and i get
depressed and assume they like someone other than me (which they always do) i make myself feel better by thinking up wedding presents for them. 
they are getting a leather bound cocktail set.

    This made me laugh out loud.  What the fuck is a leather bound cocktail set?  Am i totally uncouth?  What?  She also gives me fashion advice.  She hates my new stream-lined, short and spiky haircut, my pants are too tapered- even though they aren't tapered at all- and I should basically get a whole new wardrobe.  Well at least I don't have a funny name that no one can get right, do I? 
    Anyway, this has been more effort than I usually put into this, and it took way too long. Still have tons of school and work stuff to do for Friday, none of which will get done till Thursday night. I hope the party is cool.   At the very least i think it'llbe interesting. I could use a rock 'em, sock 'em good time out in NYC.