Daily Happy Little Accidents
mood affected by St.John's Wort. Title affected by marquee tags

August  10, 2000.  Thursday
 
 

    I was in Rite Aid during my lunch break, restocking my supply of echinacea to bolster my immune system, what with this nagging almost-cold I have, when I came across the "mood enhancement" herbal supplement, St. John's Wort.  So I figured, what the hell? my mood could certainly use a little enhancement.  I got it more out of curiosity's sake really.  I just wanted to see what it would do to me if I took an excessive amount.  Or the normal amount.  The bottle has a little arrow on the label that boasts "Now! More facts!"  which points to a little "did you know?" panel.  The panel reads: "Stress of daily life can affect both our physical and emotional well-being."  Then it tells you that the label is in fact a "double label," and by turning the outer label to the right you can see how St. John's Wort can help with stress.  Of course, figuring out how to turn label to reveal this great secret was kind of stressful in itself.  Anyway, the other label says something about effecting the levels of key brain chemicals to enhance mood.  Allright.  And, as luck would have it, though I was in a fairly mild state in the drug store, I ran into so many aggravating things on my way back to the office, that now I'm absolutely fucking seething with rage and hatred!  So now we'll see what kind of "enhancement" this can really do.  No use wading in the shallow end, as my pappy used to say.  So let's see it take the edge off a full-on shitty state of mind.

    While I'm waiting for that to kick in though, the things that were annoying as hell were really little things that i guess don't really bother me now that they've passed. Hey... wait a minute.  No, no, I was already thinking this before i dropped the Wort.  I just hate that Subway on 6th Ave.  Ooooo, i hate them.  They cut the bread all wrong, not in that trademark Subway way like they're hallowing out a canoe, but just your standard, sandwich shop way.  They just take the knife and *fwwooomp*- cut it right in half. If I wanted that, i wouldn'ta gone to Subway in the first place, you fucks!  I want that mutha  hollowed out, stuffed fulla meat and cheese and mayo, then i want that little sliver of bread jammed back on top.  It's like a little meat container. Almost a white-bread pita but with a lid.  Isn't their slogan "The way a sandwich should be"?!  These people are so goddam stupid.  I just kept asking for more shit just to keep them working their miserable fucking sandwich store job. "More oregano, please."  They always have issues with the oregano. They just can't figure out why the oregano won't come out of the shaker.  Last time, the guy making my sandwich grabbed a knife and started trying to make the dime-sized holes bigger, thinking that might do the trick. When that failed, he just took the lid off and scooped about 3 ounces of oregano on the sandwich.  Basically, this "sandwich artist," as they like to be called, couldn't figure out that because the oregano shaker was jam-packed to double it's capacity, the contents of the "shaker" could do exactly what is was named for, that is, "shake."  I truly hate these people, and I swore I'd never go back. Serves me right for going today.  never again, I say!
    I'm still not in a better mood. Come on, already!  I want it now!

    I also did a little experiment today to see if Rodzilla's internet connection from work really does block out pages that have obscene words.  So I just modified yesterday's relatively benign entry. It was a very scientific process. Next to the day, i modified what we in the business call the "font" to the same "color" as the "background."  Then, I carefully inserted the diagonistic text, which reads "fuck fuck shit shit fuck shit fuck."  Now I'm just waiting to see what results the experiment yields.

    I can't tell if it's the St. John's Wort, or if I just naturally crack myself up.   I suspected this would happen.
 

©2000 ThreeMatchBreeze