June 29, 2000.  Thursday
 

 
    Work is sort of at a standstill right now.  I spent about seven hours today going over tax codes, proofreading the printed copy against the databased copy on the computer.  Not something I ever envisioned myself doing.  I actually spent a of the day thinking about my situation.  If my future self had come to me two years ago, as I had just finished college, and said "Hello there, Greg.  Just thought you'd like to know that in two years, you'll be working at a company in New York City, where you'll spend hours and hours pouring over old IRS Tax Codes.   Not only that, but you'll be working there because you indie-rocker/sardonic idealist friend James has been working there for a year.  And oh yeah, you'll be living in Brooklyn with your current roommate Jed, your brother Geoff, and some British dude,  and you'll also have a girlfriend who you'll refer to as 'Rodzilla,'" that would have been 100 percent inconcievable.  Now, if Future Me had added, "Oh yeah, you'll also have no real appreciable skills. Sorry." that woulda been more believable.
Anyhow, It's really funny where we've ended up.  I never saw James working here, and absolutely never with this sort of resigned contentness.  Rodzilla and I weren't even speaking at that point, and Jed had another year of school.  But really, it was the me and James working in the same office that freaked me out.  This morning, as he was standing by my desk, leaning his elbow on the wall of my cubicle, I quietly freaked out.  It was like I was seeing some work of the devil.  I was actually sort of scared, like I was in some sort of dream.  I guess you have to know James.  But it gave me the fucking creeps for some reason.  I guess i'm better now.  But it's still bizarro.
    Anyhow, I'm still waiting to do something more substantial at work. I'm also trying to figure out who my boss is.  I'm still not sure. I've had about 5 different people tell me what to do so far. But it's almost all been like, "well we'll have something for you to do eventually. Until then..."  So I don't know what's up.  But I'm quickly sinking back into my old office habits.  Come in in the morning, cast out my net of emails, get some coffee, do some work, check to see if I have any return emails yet, read online journals, etc.  But I'm also reading books now, something I've only been doing for about 6 months.  The latest is This Side of Paradise by F. Scott Fitzgerald.   I read The Great Gatsby for real for the first time a few months ago, and I was shocked how much I liked it.  I spent the next few months absorbing Vonnegut, and I tried to read this John Irving book, but that didn't do it for me.  So Rodzilla lent me her copy of this book.  I really like Fitzgerald.  It's mainly is diction I think. And I love 20's-speak.  I get a big kick outta it for some reason. I wish we still spoke that way.  Maybe they didn't speak like that at all, but it's fun to imagine. It's also fun to imagine that you're a superhero.  Or that children don't cry at the sight of you.  Or that, despite what your mom might say, you weren't the reason your dad left and never came back.
Why, how... bazaar...

    Anyway, I've noticed that I've been getting about double my normal amount of hits on my webpage over the last two days.  At first I thought it was cool, now I'm nervous.  I wonder what's going on.  And the entries have been kind of poo-poo lately.  Maybe I'll deliberately try to do something this weekend to spice it up.  Or not.
 
 

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